Month for Loki, Day 31: Moonshine.
by beanalreasa
Last night, I got quite drunk off this strawberry moonshine, and had some incredible loving.
Then, this morning, I woke up with a killer hangover (possible ‘bangover’, too.)
My gods, the nausea, the headache was almost too much to bear. Almost.
I think that I might have been grateful to go back to bed once the MS got up for work at 8:00AM.
Oddly enough, it seemed that I may have still been drunk (or still feeling the effect of my drunkeness) because I definitely remember stumbling into the bathroom around 6:00AM. (My pre-disposition to kidney stones has made it so if I have to go, it is painfully uncomfortable if I do not.)
(All I can say is that things still looked/felt wobbly and hazy, which is unusual. It’s not as if I had that much.)
Right then I felt as if I was sweating out -my body temperature felt abnormally high, and I felt as if I had taken a ten-minute afternoon vacation to Panama at the height of summer.
And even though I don’t know how I did it, I vaguely recollect that I checked in on my kid and I did somehow get Loki a cup of coffee.
Then I remember drinking two large glasses of water and then collapsing on the couch in my living room….and I’m not ashamed to admit that that couch suddenly felt like the coolest side of every pillow ever.
I woke up to go to the bathroom again at some point, drank more water, and then I must’ve climbed into bed in my bedroom. I don’t remember going to the bedroom again, nor do I remember seeing my MS get up to go to work, but he obviously went to work.
~~~~
What followed after 8:00 AM featured some very vivid hangover fever-dreams, complete with changing positions often because I kept waking up to find myself completely entangled in the bedsheets.
Meanwhile, I think that it is safe to assume that these dreams weren’t entirely unpleasant because I do remember talking to Loki somewhat, and there was a lot of trance-talk combined with a lot of sensually triggering imagery and sensation. There was much intensity and even more conversation over some specifically detailed philosophical concepts, and I think that the dream-Loki thought it was all very amusing.
I woke up several times, very much aware of my own liminally-aroused state, and often well-aware that I had been talking and reacting loudly enough to wake myself up O.o
(While this is not something that I didn’t know, I still felt an embarrassed sort of shame that I was being so…noisy.)
So, in short, my oddly self-aware yet half-drunken state led to a philosophical sex-magickal interaction between Loki and I.
~~~
I gather that He and I talked about other topics too, as I found out later that I had confused a conversation that I’d had with V last night about plans for the weekend with a conversation that I’d obviously had with Loki this morning.
Case in point, I seemed to have thought that V and I had had a conversation about smoking* last night because I remember talking about how I’d wanted to smoke and V was the person that I distinctly remember talking to about that.
And in that remembered conversation, I remember that V had teased me about hiding my stash and even jokingly admonished me for holding out on him, because didn’t I know how much he enjoyed smoking with me?
So I thought/remembered that V was insisting that we should smoke last night to celebrate the ending of the month.
But when I asked V later this morning why he wanted to smoke last night – a weekday night – when he usually insists upon waiting until the weekend–
V just looked at me blankly, and said,
“We can smoke if you want — but I don’t think that we talked about that at all – last night, or ever.”
O.O
So. I guess that this means that Loki is back to borrowing V’s face and form to convey Himself in dreams…as my husband.
And so I imagine that that means Loki wants me to smoke with Him in celebration of the end of the month.
Well-played, Sir…well-played.
Though, to note, usually Loki isn’t that obvious in His directives to me. Or rather, He hasn’t been so direct with me in quite a while.
Nonetheless, the point is taken.
~~~
Hail to Loki, Who is not above borrowing mundane faces ❤
*(And P.S.A: Lay off the strawberry moonshine, kids! And quite possibly, the dream-discussion of entheogens…)
~~~
“Bangover” – you seem to have a real knack for coming up with cool words I’ve never heard of before, bravo!
There is something that I have sort of taken as a personal philosophy over the years, to seek the magical in the mundane. In this, I have not once been disappointed; so you could say I’m a dedicated believer of this outlook. As such, the idea of a god (or any other spirit, for that matter) being found in – as you describe – mundane faces is something I can readily accept. A god who is known for shape shifting borrowing a familiar face is also something I can readily accept.
Adding strawberry flavor to high octane paint thinner, however, I do not readily accept 😉
P.S. My preventative remedy for hangovers, and it has never failed, was to make sure a bottle of some sort of energy drink (like Gatorade) was the last thing I would drink before I went to bed. I haven’t needed that remedy for well over 15 years (nowadays, it’s not uncommon for me to go a full year or more without drinking any sort of alcoholic beverage); but that remedy staved off – I’m certain – quite a few hangovers. As for what you refer to as a bangover, I’m pretty sure I’ve never really actually tried to remedy.
Storm wise:
Thank you for your comment.
However, I must let you know that as much as I would like to take credit for the coining of the term ‘bang over,’ I cannot.
I don’t know who came up with the term, but I’ve always liked it, and I believe that it conveys that post-interaction feeling very well 😉
As well, thank you for the Gatorade hangover cure. It certainly works well, as I discovered the other morning. 🙂
I’m glad you gave the Gatorade a try! And, realize it or not, you did just coin yourself a shiny new term 🙂 If you can’t take credit for ‘bangover,’ you can take credit for ‘bang over’ – which I realize can take on more than one meaning; but that my positive attitude toward the subject interprets along the lines of a ‘sleep over’ sort of arrangement. Perhaps that leads to a bangover? Or bangovers for all involved? For that, the Gatorade might also come in handy, to keep the bang over going longer, thus leading to a more intense bangover feeling? 🙂
Stormwise,
I like the way that you think 😉
‘Bang over’ could so have the connotations that you speak of. A ‘sleepover with some extended health benefits’ shall we say?
And I must ask you: This conversation is taking an interesting turn — Are you certain that you are *not* one of Loki’s?
Just curious.
-H.
“We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars.”
-Oscar Wilde
” A ‘sleepover with some extended health benefits’ shall we say?” – Now it seems we’re taking turns liking the way the other thinks!
And I can honestly tell you that I have never worked with Loki. I do not hold him in the same regard as the ‘standard’ Heathen does, I never have. For me, as someone who is closely bound to Odin, it’s second nature to respect those to whom Odin is also bound … I’ve simply never felt pulled to him. So this line of thinking is not coming from Loki 😉
Hm.
So I guess that this is yet another one of those times that I should admit that I view Odin and Loki’s relationship as being a complex and enduring thing in and of itself. That being said, I agree that I can’t see honoring Loki without honoring Odin somehow as well, despite having a sometimes oddly visceral spiritual reaction to Odin at times that I do not enjoy.
When it is mild, it manifests as simply a rather nervous uncomfortable feeling, and when it is severe, it feels akin to a nausea that arises from terror. Therefore, on a good day, Odin gives me the vibe of a stern and grumpy father, and on a not-so-good day, well…I’d rather not discuss.
So, as you may imagine that I am familiar with Odin’s ‘extra-curricular exploits,’ it is sometimes difficult for me to emotionally fathom His more pleasant aspects which would engage in such behavior, let alone thoughts of said behavior. Meanwhile, in my experience, Loki has a more…easygoing and flirtatious manner. If Odin were to come across towards me that way, I’d have to to say that I’d be alarmed.
But perhaps, I am learning…albeit, slowly 🙂
Odin the flirt would make me nervous, too! The lore has him seducing pretty much at-will; but when Odin seduces in the lore, it is an act of conquest, which I do not equate to flirting. I also keep in mind that the Odin I have gotten to know over the years is not the Odin of the lore. In fact, I have argued more than once in other places that I feel like the lore was manipulated by our (gasp!) ancestors to present Odin as a blood-mad god, in order to convince more men to fight for the chiefs and, eventually, kings among the Norse. I see Odin at times as the storm – in which I strangely enough find tremendous calm – and at other times, as a being who is resolved to carry an immense burden. Because of his association with ravens, I can’t help but also point out that Odin does seem to have a sense of humor … it’s just a little different. My sense of Loki and Odin is that they are much more closely bound than even the lore suggests. When considering your description of Loki being more easygoing, I can’t help but imagine Loki as being the type who will happily let someone go where they choose; while Odin will just as often help people go a lot farther than they’d originally planned 😉 Getting back to Odin flirting, I think another reason why most simply don’t gravitate toward this image is because Odin is typically regarded as father among the gods (both because of his age, and the parentage of some of the gods) … most seem to get hung up about father figures flirting. I don’t have this problem, age never really had that effect on me; but it is difficult for me to imagine a flirtatious storm. Or, on second thought, maybe it isn’t – I’d never really thought about it like that. Thanks are in order, then, for yet another time you get me to think in a different direction 🙂
Stormwise,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Some of the points that you’ve brought up about how you see Odin have given me much food for thought – especially the point about Odin taking folks on a path that goes a lot further than they had planned or expected.
Though as much as Loki can be easygoing concerning matters of flirtation and social interaction, I do think that Loki can be similar to Odin in displaying that a definite single-minded determination towards what He wants, at all costs. The difference is that Odin might be more subtle and quietly determined, playing things close to the vest in terms of His emotional response to the issue at hand. In my experience, Loki seems to be more direct and almost obvious in His emotional reactions. Loki is more likely to laugh loudly in your face, while Odin will simply chuckle at the same joke – though They share a similarly wicked sense of humor.
As well, I wanted to comment on the part of your comment about ‘flirtatious storm’: It strikes me as strange to admit that my immediate thought to the concept of a flirtatious storm is to think of the aspect that a storm brings rain – which helps crops grow (a force that assists fertility). As well, I recently read an article about lightning – and how the discharge of electricity and/or the resulting natural wildfires – can affect the chemical composition of the soil. (Nitrates? The discharge of lightning through the ground can subtly change/add to the presence of nitrates in the soil…or something like that. And ash? I know that ash can be a potent fertilizer.)
Just a bizarre little connective thought thinking about storms…and fertility.
I don’t think your connective thought is so bizarre. And you are absolutely right about the connection between storms and fertility … even hail can be said to take part in this process. Your point about lightning is one that has caused a lot of Heathens to look toward Thor, whose hammer also possesses the power to regenerate, and was invoked to bless marriages with fertility. While I can see this, and understand the logic of it, it’s Odin I sense in the storm every time. Given that I’m prone to go walking in just about every storm that comes my way, maybe flirting with the storm is something I’ve been doing all along, just not in the sense that I think we were working with earlier 😉
” In my experience, Loki seems to be more direct and almost obvious in His emotional reactions.” – One of the names for Odin is Grimnir, the one who wears masks. Not all of Odin’s masks are subtle … he is both the storm, and the quiet breeze that announces that storm’s arrival.
You asked a question earlier, and further reflection has made me rethink my answer. Am I sure that I am not influenced by Loki? No, I’m not certain. While I do not feel a conscious pull toward or influence from him, I do think it’s interesting that I’m in contact with a number of Lokeans; and that my defense of Loki, from the perspective of the lore, began a little over 15 years ago, while moderating in a Heathen forum. Maybe there is a connection that I’m just not following, then. I have an innate understanding of Heimdallr, too; but I do not actively work with him.
At any rate, we’ve come a long way from our bang over topic, and I’ve certainly enjoyed all aspects of this conversation! Now, though, it’s half-past midnight here, and after the journeywork I did a little while ago, I need to get some rest (in case it seems like I don’t respond further, after I send this comment). If you would like to, feel free to send me an E-mail sometime – my address is on the sidebar of my blog. Thank you again, for prompting me to look in different directions! 🙂