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July 6, 2018

Month for Loki, Day 5: The Runes of Your Name (I)

ISA

Isa is a rune associated with ice and winter itself, representing the icicle that will turn to water. Isa represents a forced stillness, a period of rest before activity, as in winter, there is nothing to do but wait for the ice to transform into water again. Therefore, Isa is the essence of Stillness, signifying a delay that may lead to a new start, or a call for inward focus (introspection) in contemplation and preparation. Another aspect of Isa which is also evoked by its nature as ice is that Isa can represent containment, as ice still holds the kinetic energy/movement of water within itself – as Isa only appears to be still. Related to this, Isa can be the layer of shimmering ice on the surface of a frozen lake that gives the illusion of stability and safety that only becomes treacherous if one should tread upon it without forethought and wisdom.

As the final rune in Loki’s name, I believe that Isa represents the ice at the advent of creation, as Isa evokes His primordial nature as a Jotun, as Beings of transformative energy and the unity of opposites in nature.

As well, Loki is a master of illusion, much like that frozen layer of ice on the surface of the lake; approaching Loki without wisdom and forethought can be treacherous.

In conclusion, one may see in the runes of Loki’s name, there are the forces that oppose (fire and ice) that are the essence of creation.

As an agent of change and transformation, perhaps these are the forces that Loki represents at Ragnarok: the chaos that brings balance, and the overwhelming change that damages then heals.

As well, during the Lokasenna, perhaps Loki serves as the illumination of sudden insight (Kenaz) and the warning (Kaunen) – the mark of the wound that exists to highlight the sickness and disorder – that needs to be dealt with in order to heal and progress

Three runes -Laguz, Kenaz, and Isa – represent the duality of the shapeshifting transformative forces of His energy and His nature – and perhaps these energies combine to strengthen, expose, and temper the concurrent forces of overwhelm, incineration, and damage that echo through Othala as the rune of ancestral knowledge and memory.

Hail Loki indeed ❤

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July 6, 2018

Month for Loki, Day 4: The Runes of Your Name (K)

KENAZ

The Elder Futhark rune, Kenaz is the torch, a rune of knowledge, teaching and learning. Inspiration and knowledge are often associated with light, as in “enlightenment” or “shedding light on the problem.” Kenaz is the act of bringing light, a force that makes the invisible visible, uncovering truth and bringing light to the unseen. In this sense, Kenaz is a rune that represents the flame of revelation.

As well, Kenaz can also be interpreted as the flame that welcomes, the flame at the hearth, which is the fire which hallows (makes sacred) a space.

In a similar way that Laguz is the flowing energy of water that must be controlled, so does Kenaz hold the powerful energy of fire – a force which is capable of being a beacon and a destroyer – as a welcoming fire could just as easily burn out of control if one becomes complacent about its power. Kenaz is a rune of sudden, rapid insight and discovery.

Related to this meaning, the Anglo-Saxons interpreted this rune as Kaunen/Cen a rune that is not only the essence of the torch’s flame that illuminates the shadows, but a rune that symbolizes an ulcer, boil or wound. In that sense, this rune the heat of a fever, the mark of an illness that can easily lead to death, or metaphorically, the frenzy that can be brought on by sudden revelations that leads to delusion and/or madness.

Though many scholars may disagree with me, as a rune in Loki’s name, I interpret Kenaz as evoking Loki’s energetic association with fire. Kenaz is the light of knowledge, the force that illuminates the shadows, and the symbol of the welcoming hearth-fire at the center of the home.

As well, I see the relation to Loki’s energy in both the Elder Futhark and Anglo-Saxon runic forms: as the Kenaz rune echoes the energetic duality as fire as a provider and destroyer similar to the rune Laguz’s duality of water – and as Kaunen, the rune that symbolizes the boil/ulcer, the fevered mark of an illness – the fever that needs to break before one can be healed, or the damage that must be attended to, as Kaunen is both the warning and the reminder that must be heeded to avoid death/disaster.

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July 3, 2018

Month for Loki, Day 3: The Runes of Your Name (O)

OTHALA

Othala is a rune that represents a wealth that cannot be sold, just as its shape evokes the boundary that surrounds an enclosure whose contents cannot be taken away. As a symbol, Othala is a protective rune that maintains and preserves that which it protects within its framework. In that sense, Othala represents that which belongs to the individual by natural law. But Othala represents more than physical property and boundaries – Othala represents home, family and community, as well. Othala symbolizes the cultural and spiritual heritage that has been passed down to us by our ancestors. Othala is the rune of that ancestral connection, representing the thread of ancient knowledge and wyrd.

~~~

Some rune-workers consider Othala as the final rune in Elder Futhark, and believe that in that sense, Othala contains the potential power of all the other runes. As well, Othala represents powerful ancestral memory and wisdom…the shared genetic memory-wisdom that links and therefore unifies all human beings throughout time.⁽¹⁾

Author Dagulf Loptson sees the second rune in Loki’s name, Othala as representing both what Loki values (family and home), but also what He both struggles with (His Jotun ancestry) and what He seeks (a sense of belonging with the Aesir). Loptson sees the energy of Othala in Loki’s name as being how chaotic energy has been harnessed and used for the security of a community, as Loki inadvertently provides the Aesir with a form of physical wealth/property through gifts (Thor’s hammer, Odin’s spear, Freyr’s ship) that were won through the use of His mental gifts (negotiation/wit with the dwarves). In another situation, Loki provides another form of protection to the Aesir in the form of a physical boundary (the wall around Asgard) through use of one of His ancestral gifts (shapeshifting). ⁽²⁾

Personally, I have come to see Othala similarly, as a rune of ancestral memory. In my opinion, how the second rune of His name applies to Loki is that, as a Jotun, Loki is in essence, a powerful and creative force of nature. Some scholars have theorized that Loki could be identified as one of the trio of ancestral creators – as Lóðurr – who animated the first humans – Ask and Embla – with Hœnir and Odin, as described in in the Völuspá.

~~~

(1.) http://runesecrets.com/rune-meanings/othala-rune-meaning-analysis

(2.) Loptson, Dagulf, Playing With Fire: An Exploration of Loki Laufeyjarson, Asphodel Press, Hubbardston, MA, 2014, p.216

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July 2, 2018

Month for Loki, Day 2: The Runes of Your Name (L)

One of the first things I ever did to honor Loki was to embroider an altar cloth featuring the four runes of His name, in Elder Futhark:

(Laguz Othala Kenaz Isa)

Aside from the strange (but perhaps not so surprising) difficulty that I experienced in the process of embroidering this cloth, I do remember that as a time when the meaning of the runes themselves confused me…as I had only begun to learn their mysteries.

However, in the intervening years since then, I have come to study runes, and the most important thing I have learned is that runes aren’t just an alphabet system; each rune has an energy and spirit of its own. And as any rune-worker can tell you: working with the runes is to work with the layers of spiritual presence and power held by each rune. One of the meanings of the word ‘rune’ is ‘secret’ – so one might begin to see why it is sometimes said that the runes themselves reveal their secrets as one works with them.

I’m sure you’ve heard it said that words are important because words are powerful. Their power comes from the ability of words to make our thoughts manifest.

Now imagine if you would how this concept operates regarding runes: if each rune has its own layers of spiritual connection and meaning, therefore the power of several runes can be created in the formation of words.

Now, consider the power of names.

Names are powerful in the sense that a name is a personal word-thing.

With this in mind, let’s consider the runes of Loki’s name.

First…

LAGUZ

Laguz is the flow of Water. Laguz is the flow of Wyrd – the pools and the depths. Laguz is forward progress that seeks the cracks in the obstacles and blockages. Laguz is a paradox just as water is: like water, Laguz represents a balm that can soothe and strengthen and Laguz is the force that can threaten and overwhelm all that is within its path.

As a part of Loki’s name, Laguz is the representation of energetic flow, as the energetic forces within, the essence of the subconscious mind; intuitive thought and emotion.

Like Loki Himself, Laguz represents a shapeshifting nature, as water is shapeless, formless, taking the shape of its container, and yet it seeks its own path; it can be blocked by an obstacle or it can simply flow around it, much like Loki’s ever-changing energy.

Laguz is a rune that embodies a dual-nature, much like Loki’s: Laguz is an energetic force much like the ocean; a force that can be calm and full of provision and promise, or a force can overwhelm and destroy.

And finally, Laguz is a rune of awareness of what lies beneath the surface, a rune of knowledge and psychic ability.

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July 1, 2018

Writing, rituals, prayer beads, and ‘fidget cubes.’

Otherwise known as ritual distractions.

I know it’s been a while, but isn’t it always?

I cannot say that I haven’t been writing – because I have – but as usual, I haven’t been posting as often as I’d intend.

There’s something about the ritual of sitting in this chair and writing that works for me, and yet, posting rarely seems part of that process. I have been thinking a lot about processes and rituals as I am currently overthinking..er, writing…a small collection of rituals.

Perhaps it is more of a devotional, as much of what I’ve written leans more towards personal devotional rituals for the solitary practitioner.

At any rate, it is as it has always been…though I have been writing, I have not been posting in this blog.

It occurred to me that I have been dragging my feet lately, as I resolved in the new year to focus more upon not just writing but organizing my devotional practice into something much more coherent than it has been. Long have I been getting the nudge to consolidate the jumble of notebooks and computer files into a consistent organized whole.

I know that my life could benefit from a more structured approach…and yet, the more I focus upon the task of collection and consolidation, the more scatterbrained I feel. I feel like a student all over again, hunched over my desk, busily compiling five years’ worth of devotional writing from the stack of notebooks, the relevant pages clinched by paper clips with worn covers peppered with Post-It notes.

In an attempt to help, my son suggested that I try using a ‘fidget cube’ – a desk ‘toy’ designed to help one focus – as he claims that being allowed to use one in class has improved his ability to focus while writing.

So, I held the fidget cube in my left hand while I transcribed my notes on Anglo-Saxon runes and a Beltane bonfire ritual into my laptop.

~~~

Later that evening, when I was sitting in front of my altar, attempting to meditate, my mind kept wandering toward other things.

Distracted by thoughts of runes, bonfires and masks, I struggled to push those thoughts and attendant vivid imagery aside.

I opened my eyes, and my gaze settled upon the mala beads that lay atop the cigar box in the center of my altar.

Recalling how this mala had helped me focus in the past, I reached for them, closed my eyes, and settled into the words of the prayer that I had created for them. While the prayer I created for them is simple and almost repetitive in its rhythm – as that is exactly what I need when I have difficulty focusing – I have said this prayer so regularly… that it suddenly became clear that something wasn’t working.

My breathing felt off, and my thoughts kept trailing off in strange ways so much so that I kept losing track of the words.

Disturbed, I opened my eyes, and looked down at the beads in my right hand…as if the beads were the problem.

Funny that…because I know better.

But it definitely occurred to me that I needed to do something else to focus.

I thought about that fidget cube on my desk in the other room.

And it got me to thinking of the similarities between this mala and the idea of fidget cubes as the concept is perhaps the same:

It seems to have always been true of me that in order to force my mind to be still, I have to be doing something.

I have to be moving in some way, however small or slight.

And so I reached for the fidget cube.

It has six sides – each side requiring a different movements of the fingers: pressing a button, flicking a switch, rolling the thumb over a ball bearing, or spinning a small dial that makes a satisfying clicking sound…

(Yes, that one….)

Clickity. Clickity. Click.

And so I settled into that.

Odd…but it *worked*

Hm.

So here’s to a different technology, I guess.

Though now that I think about it…it did sound a lot like typing.

Huh.

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June 12, 2018

Two.

On June 11th, 2016, my husband and I went to see Frank Turner at the Beacham, a very small local club in Downtown Orlando:

gogolbordello

As I recall, we had stopped for dinner before the show, and thus, we had parked a good walk from the Beacham itself.

But it was a nice night, not too humid, good for walking, so we did not mind.

And as we were walking down the sidewalk, we happened to pass by another local nightclub.

I remember looking at the nondescript black and white sign with its simple logo – a large letter P – and I remember that my husband and I joked that here was another tiny nightclub whose sign looked larger than its building.

We wondered if that night club was as small a club as the Beacham was, and then we kept walking toward the Beacham, which my phone’s GPS had calculated was about 1.7 miles from there.

As you can see above, The Beacham’s lineup that night featured Frank Turner and the Sleeping Souls, followed by Gogol Bordello. (There was also an opening act at 6 pm, that isn’t listed there: Walter Screifels – I thought his set was surprisingly mellow and acoustic for a musician listed as being a ‘hardcore alternative/punk musician’)

Though we arrived in time to see Walter Screifels’ set, and definitely enjoyed Frank Turner’s performance, Frank and his band had done the last encore by 8:50 PM*

(*i.e; by punk standards, that was still rather early on a Saturday night!)

I remember being unsure if we were going to stay to see Gogol Bordello, who were slated to be onstage by 9:00PM.

But my husband had had a tough work-week of long hours and a very long day already, as a late Friday night server meltdown had bled into his working earlier into that afternoon.

So when we walked out into the tiny lobby to see that even more people had arrived, cramming themselves into an already overcrowded front room, my husband sighed

….and we decided right then, that we weren’t going to stay to see Gogol Bordello.

So we went home and went to bed.

And when I woke up on the morning of June 12th, the first news I heard was that there’d been a shooting at a local Orlando nightclub…

And 50 people were injured, perhaps dead….

The nightclub?

Pulse.

That same little nightclub that we’d joked had a sign bigger than its building – at 1912 South Orange Ave:

pulsememorial

And the first thing I thought was – if we had stayed to see Gogol Bordello…

We would have walked right past there, on the way to our car…

Likely either during… or just after the shooting.

And that is why my cell was blown up with calls.

People wondered if we were all right. People were worried.

~~~

We were heartbroken that morning two years ago.

And still breaks my heart even now, to think of that morning.

But a friend of mine – Brandon – wrote this morning:

“But even as I did begin to rise and start my day, I remind myself that although we are another year separated from that morning, those of us that can remember that morning only do so because we have been given the gift of another morning ourselves. We remember the lives that were cut short, and live our lives to honor those that were ended too soon. We heal, but we keep the scars as reminders of what happened. The world may dwell in hate, but love will always win. Let your actions be guided by love and wear your scars proudly for the world to see.

You are here at the start of a moment.

It is my sincere hope, my prayer, that in our lifetimes there will be a generation that does not know hate, only love. And it will be our responsibility to show them why that love is so important and to never take it for granted. Never take love for granted.”

~~~

And then this past Sunday, I had the wonderful opportunity to see Frank Turner and the Sleeping Souls perform again:

Like Brandon, and like Frank…

I hope that we could all learn to be a little more kind.

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June 5, 2018

scene missing

Hey, how are you all doing?

I realized that I haven’t really written an actual post in quite a while, though it’s not for lack of material.

Often, when I am planning to write about certain topics, my brain will inadvertently begin constructing these wonderfully succinct, perfectly worded posts upon those topics – usually while I’m doing something else (like doing the dishes, walking my dogs, or at worst, trying to sleep).

But the funny thing is, when when I sit down to write out those thoughts, I can’t think of what it was that I intended to say. My vocabulary just disappears! All of those effortless turns of phrase will suddenly feel out of reach, and I often feel like the moment is damned near lost as I wrack my brain trying to recapture whatever it was.

So, in that sense, my brain is filled with these half-formed drafts of well-thought-out posts:

So I’ve been taking this biweekly class on divination and mediumship.

Recently, when I was looking over the weekly ‘homework,’ I notice that the instructor will often reference information from the ‘class page’ or the ‘website’ and I realized

much to my dismay!

that I don’t know what he means.

So I went looking on the Internet for the information, only I could not find anything resembling a ‘class page’ or a ‘class website’, except the initial class registration page, and his FB page (which seemed to be simply a mirror site of that registration page.)

So then I sent him an email, asking specifically what he was referring to when he mentioned ‘as you may have seen on the website’ or ‘as was discussed on the class page…’

And, as he seems to live on the West Coast, I didn’t expect to hear from him a few hours.

Instead, I got to thinking about this anxiety that I’ve been having, not just regarding this class, but concerning my overall approach to my devotional practice lately. And, as I went about my morning tasks, I began to overthink, trying to pinpoint the root of my anxiety.

It occurred to me that I might have a fear of missing out.

Or perhaps my anxiety is rooted in the fear that others have access to something that I don’t seem to have access to, as represented by this class page/website that the instructor seems to reference.

And as a result, I am left feeling stuck. Feeling that I must be doing something wrong…that there must be a disconnect somewhere.

And suddenly I was struck with a thought: what if the reason that I cannot find this page that the instructor references is simply because there isn’t one?

What if the root of my fear – and therefore my anxiety – is that I am chasing after the lack of access to something that I’ve only imagined?

What if, indeed?

~~~

Well I still haven’t heard from him.

Perhaps I have answered my own question.

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May 30, 2018

Pandoramancy: Caught

(Thank the Gods, no frenzy today)

Today I am in a rather pensive mood, and there was music to match that mood…

Funny though I’d never thought to connect these two Suzanne Vega songs together in my brain, I am both surprised – and delighted – to see them presented together in this video.

As pandoramancy, I believe that they capture the essence of my present spiritual situation quite succinctly.

Perhaps because I just might be a small blue thing…. caught in The(ir) undertow.

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