I have given up on summoning demons and I have come to accept the lemons….
Because when the Universe gives you lemons, you make the lemonade.
And if you’re anything like me, you know lemonade can fix anything 😉
Sometimes I write letters that I never mean to send.
Letters to the Universe full of all my most private thoughts and ideas as a means of working things out in my head.
Sometimes if my words are especially negative or melodramatic, I burn them, as a sort of ritual of release.
This morning I burned a two-page double-sided letter to the Universe, detailing my latest feelings and thoughts of self-loathing, sadness and anger.
The letter burned rather quickly and damn near completely…except for a small scrap of paper on which clearly could be read three words:
If that’s not a fitting observation from the Universe, I don’t know what is.
Perhaps I am caught, indeed.
So, after several days of writers’ block… I suddenly have the urge to post.
You see, I just finished dinner moments ago, but while I was eating, I was doing the very thing that I’d always told my children not to do: I was reading — on the Internet. (But, mind you, i wasn’t being rude or ignoring anyone in deference to the Internet; rather, my son was ignoring *me* during dinner, as he was busy being his typical gamer self and rushing to finish his own dinner so he could get back to the latest mission on WatchDogs 2.)
So I was reading anxious waves’ blog, and I must admit, I was positively gorging myself on her blog also while enjoying my dinner. Feeding my mind while feeding the body.
And let me tell you, I was getting positively drunk on her words !
Have you ever read something so well written that it suddenly gives you the urge to write yourself? That’s how you get drunk on words, my friends, and that’s what was happening to me right then. But the difference being that anxious waves deftly plies her craft: her posts are tight, succinct and remarkably well-written. She appears a delightfully sober writer whose words flow and shift within the structure of her paragraphs in a controlled and purposeful fashion. Her graceful prose walks purposefully and confidently down the sidewalk.
Meanwhile I am drunk with language, playing fast and loose with the words, and the structure of these sentences is likely meandering haphazardly all over this post, much like a drunk person stumbling down the street.
Well, comparison is the thief of joy and thus, when I consider my efforts, I begin to notice that I could have written this much better than I have done…but I am grateful anyway. Her blog has inspired me, and perhaps given me that much-needed nudge towards doing some actual writing rather than sitting on my hands and yearning for perfection.
and in that, I find only good things.
So much yes.
“A life with gods is a life of violence. You will be dragged. You will stumble, fall and be felled. You will be whipped, marked, stolen. You will have things taken from you. You will have parts of you cut away – sometimes so softly that they dissolve like dust in the light…”