bloodteethandflame

A life in threes

Take care of yourself.

— regarding the röttgen pietà, elle emerson

Samhain

Happy Halloween & Blessed Samhain

Even though

it’s been 14 years

I miss you

every day.

Here we go….again.

Gods, it’s 4 in the morning…again.

I fell asleep while watching TV with my kid around midnight.

I hate this cycle of sleeping for a few hours and then I’m up at 4:00 AM *for the day*

*sigh*

OK. This makes no sense.

Yesterday, I was on FB, scrolling through my feed and I came across one of those posts that ask about things that some would consider ‘data mining’ type questions.

You know the kind…the post asks an innocent question, but the answers in the comment require you to reveal your favorite color, what school you went to, or your mother’s maiden name.

Though my comment did not answer the question, I saw that *a page* (rather than a person) liked my comment mere seconds after I posted it.

So I clicked on it, wondering why this page – supposedly run by ‘ the real Ellen Degeneres’ – liked my comment so quickly. Evidently it was nothing but an advertisement for a ‘sweepstakes’ that ‘Ellen’ is running and the prize is a 🌟$1000 gift card from Amazon 🌟 BUT you must answer 3️⃣ Easy Questions!!!

Yeah…no.

(More data mining questions.)

So I reported the page for ‘impersonating a celebrity’ and basically being a scam.

FB even robo-thanked me for reporting the page.

And this morning, the post I screenshotted showing the page in my report to FB was flagged as – you guessed it – ‘a post that goes against FB community standards’

Uh…what?

The post referred to was simply my report *to* FB so I don’t know HOW my post reporting a page could ‘go against community standards’?!

The report showing the post of a post that was posted was the post that was…wrong?

How meta can you get?

How

I promise.

Month for Loki: Eleven

Month for Loki: Ten

Dver wrote a great post about a way to look at relationships with the Gods which gave me lots of food for thought.


You see, I’ve been going through a bit of a weird emotional patch.

I’ve been feeling disconnected from everything.

When I read of how Dver writes of her relationships with Gods in regards to her devotional practice, what I found interesting is that she generally splits them into two groups: Gods whom she loves and she works with closely/offers to regularly — and Gods whom she loves simply for Their existence.

She writes:

“There are some gods I love – have loved for decades, even – and have never had a single, personal, direct experience with. I don’t know if I’m on Their radar at all. I don’t need to be. It’s enough to know Them even a little bit, and to honor Them. I don’t ask Them for anything, typically. Maybe I just keep an image of Them somewhere, make an offering now and then, read Their stories, and appreciate Their existence. That’s all it needs to be.”


Interestingly, this concept intertwines with a discussion of ego – and how removing oneself from the equation of love was liberating, as love given with the desire for reciprocation was simply ego…and how to love simply for the basis of loving because of the other’s existence was the most profound sort of love, and therefore the sort of love to be sought when speaking of the Gods, i.e the Gods should be loved without the (ego’s) expectation of reciprocation or interaction.


But by the same token, Dver admits to believing that the Gods that she serves daily in her practice do love her in Their way (as love is at its core and is understood to be an energetic act directed towards another/what is outside of the self) but that to serve in exchange for being loved is neither her goal nor her intent.

And I found that profoundly helpful as I navigate my feelings about Loki and Odin today: up until that moment of understanding, I would have said that what is going on with me is that They both feel like old friends that I haven’t seen or interacted with in a while.

Or as the Hávamál would say, I have allowed weeds and high grass to grow over the path to my friends’ home:

 

…if you have a friend,

and you trust him,

go and visit him often.

Weeds and high grass

will grow on a path

that nobody travels.

Stanza 119, trans. by Jackson Crawford

So, in that regard, I’ve been feeling guilty and sad.

An overgrown path


So I asked myself, what would it feel like to love them without any expectation of Their presence or interaction?


Which leads me to this other personal bit: a new Lokean in one of my groups is asking how one can become so close to Loki that He would ‘show up’ without being called on/summoned?
Several folks responded that Loki shows up for them only when He isn’t being sought out, and that it was a well-known secret that Gods do show up if you think of Them enough, and Loki especially; Loki will eventually show up… the keyword being eventually.


As for me, I am going to work on loving Them simply for being/existing and see how that goes.


I’m not adverse to simply being the devotee for a while. And I think about


Love.
Just love.
Let it flow out of you unimpeded.
And I will be there.
And you will know.

~~

Month for Loki: Nine

Nine in Norse Mythology, from Wikipedia:

  • Nine worlds that are supported by Yggdrasil.
  • At the end of Skáldskaparmál is a list of nine heavenly realms provided by Snorri, including, from the nethermost to the highest, Vindblain (also Heidthornir or Hregg-Mimir), AndlangVidblain, Vidfedmir, Hrjod, Hlyrnir, Gimir, Vet-Mimir and Skatyrnir which “stands higher than the clouds, beyond all worlds.”
  • Every ninth year, people from all over Sweden assembled at the Temple at Uppsala. There was feasting for nine days and sacrifices of both men and male animals according to Adam of Bremen.
  • In Skírnismál, Freyr is obliged to wait nine nights to consummate his union with Gerd.
  • In Svipdagsmál, the witch Gróa grants nine charms to her son Svipdag. In the same poem there are nine maidens who sit at the knees of Menglod.
  • In Fjölsvinnsmál, Laegjarn’s chest is fastened with nine locks.
  • During Ragnarök, Thor kills Jörmungandr but staggers back nine steps before falling dead himself, poisoned by the venom that the Serpent spewed over him and after that, he resurrected himself.
  • According to the very late Trollkyrka poem, the fire for the blót was lit with nine kinds of wood.
  • Odin’s ring Draupnir releases eight golden drops every ninth night, forming rings of equal worth for a total of nine rings.
  • In the guise of Grímnir in the poem Grímnismál, Odin allows himself to be held by King Geirröd for eight days and nights and kills him on the ninth after revealing his true identity.
  • There are nine daughters of Ægir.
  • There are nine mothers of Heimdall.
  • There are nine great lindworms: Jörmungandr, Níðhöggr, Grábakr, Grafvölluðr, Ofnir, Svafnir, Grafvitni and his sons Góinn and Móinn.
  • The god Hermod rode Sleipnir for nine nights on his quest to free Baldr from the underworld.
  • The giant Baugi had nine thralls who killed each other in their desire to possess Odin’s magical sharpening stone.
  • The god Njord and his wife Skadi decided to settle their argument over where to live by agreeing to spend nine nights in Thrymheim and nine nights at Nóatún.
  • The giant Thrivaldi has nine heads.
  • The clay giant Mokkurkalfi measured nine leagues high and three broad beneath the arms.
  • When Odin sacrificed himself to himself, he hung upon the gallows of Yggdrasill for nine days and nights. In return, he secured rúnar ‘runes, secret knowledge’.
  • The valknut symbol is three interlocking triangles forming nine points.
  • There are nine surviving deities of Ragnarök, including Baldr and Hödr, Magni and Modi, Vidar and Váli, Hoenir, the daughter of Sól and a ninth “powerful, mighty one, he who rules over everything”.

Month for Loki: Eight

Loki is big on the concept of “negative capability,” which John Keats defines as, “when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.” Namely, that a poet must remain open to all ideas, to all identities–even to the point of obliterating one stable identity–if that poet is to remain truly creative. Basically: embrace uncertainty, because it leads to change, and change is generative and inherently creative.