bloodteethandflame

A life in threes

Happy Autumn Equinox!

A surprise night visitor.

Much like the rest of the country, the weather around here has been unbearably hot (even for August!), with temperatures reaching close to 87 degrees at 3 AM.

So, as I am prone to do when it’s that hot, I have been sleeping in the living room under the ceiling fan (because my husband is one of those people who cannot seem to sleep ‘while a cold breeze is blowing on [him])’ — which is fine by me.

So, a few nights ago, that’s where I was – trying to sleep on the living room couch – when I was suddenly awakened by the sensation of something landing on the side of my face.

Suitably freaked out, I opened my eyes, and involuntarily swatted my face, to see *a white frog* land on the coffee table in front of me.

It looked very similar to this:

This is a Pinewoods Tree Frog

The fact that it was white struck me as a bit strange, as I did not know that frogs could be white, as I had assumed that most frogs around here were of more camouflaging colors, such as green, and brown, or gray.

And how it got into my house, much less onto my face seemed a mystery too – though once I thought about it, I figured that it must’ve gotten in earlier in the evening. (Perhaps it had been hiding between the cushions of the couch and climbed out soon after I laid down, who knows….)

So I got up and opened the slider door (which is a scant three feet from the couch) in hopes that it would simply hop back out on its own before any of my four cats noticed its presence…

But it didn’t budge.

So, figuring that it would realize the situation soon enough and make its escape, I left the slider open and I laid back down on the couch.

I even closed my eyes.

But then, this frog did an unexpected thing: it jumped onto my face again.

Surprised, I involuntarily sat up and the frog tumbled limply into my lap…and simply sat quietly in the folds of my night-shirt.

And it sat there for a solid 5 minutes.

It didn’t look hurt or scared – or even that bothered to be sitting on my lap.

Silly frog, I thought to myself, you’re so odd. And we are lucky that none of the cats are around.

Then, cradling the frog in my shirt, I slowly stood up and walked through the open slider and into the patio.

Once outdoors, I crouched down at the edge of the bricks, and I dropped this weird little white frog gently onto the grass.

And still, it sat there – looking like an unbaked dinner roll in the shadows of the grass of my backyard – several moments before it hopped away.

Weird.

*laughing nervously*

Well. OK then…

Continually brave in weakness.

This meme tile just came across my social media feed:

Usually this would not mean much because I will admit that I’ve been scrolling through social media much more often than is usual for me lately…

But what really made me sit up and take notice was that

upon reading its message

I immediately and distinctly felt

You

As a sensation of nearly imperceptible fingers

brushing across the nape of my neck

a singular awareness of You, whispering

Look!

Look.

Hail Loki ❤️

MfL, Ten: Thank You for this day.

When I first moved south – nearing twenty years ago! – one of the first people I met was a wonderful woman named T. Her daughter was almost the same age as my son, and though that’s where our similarities ended, T was a great neighbor, who went out of her way to introduce me to others, and make me feel welcome in my new neighborhood.

But as I said, T and I didn’t have that much in common.

For one thing, T was a Christian; a devout Baptist to be exact…and well, as you may know, I most certainly am not — but it did not stop us from (mostly) getting along. And as you might imagine, in the interest of neighborliness, T did invite me to various church events.

And in the interest of friendliness in return, I went to many of those church events with her.

And, as a result, I was introduced to many aspects of this particular form of Christianity that I’d never experienced, and while I’d like to stress that T was well aware that I’d no intention of converting, I realized very quickly that T was like a lot of my neighbors: her social life/community did revolve around the church on a daily basis.

So that is what I’m thinking of today, how T introduced me to a particular daily prayer that she referred to as ‘a war room prayer’ – a form of prayer that she told me is rather familiar to many Baptists.

I find war room prayers fascinating.

So, would it surprise you that I would find myself reworking it?

And so:

“Loki, thank you for this day.

Thank you for the breath in my lungs, the flush in my skin, and the ground beneath my feet. 

I am grateful for Your gifts and Your challenges.

Thank you, sweetest friend, for Your love and wisdom that brings me comfort and strength in times of despair.

The Havamal says: ‘The unwise man lies awake at night and ponders everything over; when morning comes, he is weary in mind, and all is a burden for ever.’

In this, You remind me how I should not be anxious for tomorrow; for when morning comes, I would be as weary and anxious as ever.

 Beloved, come – quiet my heart and mind. Free me from the chains of doubt and anxiety.

Grant me a peaceful rest so that I may be refreshed in spirit for You tomorrow.

Thank You.”

~~~

Hail Loki! ❤

MfL, Nine: Falling, and failing.

Someone wrote a poem about how Loki will push you to the edge but He will never let you fall into the abyss.

Those are pretty words.

On some days, such words would give me much comfort, certainly.

But not today.

I find more comfort in these words:

‘There are many truths that I could tell you

But none of them would serve your growth today.

If you should fall into the abyss

There are times I would not save you.

Your falling is sacred.

Your failing is sacred.

Because you are learning, my love

To embrace the dark, to plumb the depths

Of shadow within you.’

~~~

Hail Loki!

MfL, Eight: Scar-lip

“I know many are not too fond of the stories when it comes to the sewing of Yours Truly’s lips, or of my binding, but it is still all a part of who I am. If you want me, you must face and receive all of me. You will face pain and difficulties in your life, but it is only temporary. It is to shape you. Prepare you. You may even be confused as to what is going on and may wonder if you’ll ever get out of it but know this… you will break free. Breaking free the thread that kept you from speaking your truth. Breaking free from the bonds that held you back.”

https://www.deviantart.com/saharabern/art/Loki-Scarlip-2-820993057

Creator: https://www.deviantart.com/…/art/Loki-Scarlip-2-820993057

MfL, Seven: Tenacious

This poem seems very Loki-esque to me — especially when one considers Loki’s association with dandelions:

“Let them try to stop you

in every way they know;

Even if they poison you,

Cut you down,

Uproot you,

Burn you to ashes,

Bury you deep,

And pave over the place

where you lie;

The weeds of your tenacity

will sprout through the cracks

And bloom.”

— Bree NicGarran, “Dandelion Roots” May 2022
field of dandelions

MfL Six: Burning inside

Describe your God as something that occurs in nature.

*** UPG alert ***

Hail Loki!

#30 days

MfL Five: Sent

Has there been a time when you feel They have sent something to appear to you on their behalf?

No.

When I saw this prompt this morning, my first thought was to…ignore it.

I even looked through the next few prompts in the list, fully intending to skip this particular one, telling myself that I didn’t have an answer for this question, certain that my answer to this prompt would definitely be No.

The Gods have never sent me anything to appear to me on their behalf.

Well, at least as far as I know, I said to myself. There. That’s settled.

But then, as the day went on, I will admit that my mind kept circling back to this prompt, almost annoyingly so.

I mean, if I’ve learned anything these past ten years (ten years?!) I’ve learned that as soon as I think I’ve resolved to avoid something or I start pushing away thoughts of something, reminders of whatever it is that I’m avoiding will inevitably pop up again and again in the weirdest ways.

Because, on the surface, the answer is No. I do not think that The Gods have sent me any tangible thing to appear to me on their behalf.

I’ve seen others answer this prompt with stories involving sightings of an animal oracle, the blessed re-appearance of some previously lost items, or according to a few Lokeans’ interesting tales, the mysterious and impossible appearance of physical items such as a sterling silver ring, an unopened CD of the finder’s favorite band, or, most bizarrely of all, an envelope with the finder’s full name on it containing a letter signed with the initials of their deity…

But that has never happened to me.

But what has happened to me has been a string of odd coincidences, happenstance, and pandoramancy, so many little moments where the flow of my mundane life has been interrupted by an occurrence or experience that only became a Meaningful Piece (in a spiderweb of Meaningful Things) sometime later…sometimes years after the fact.

And yet, for all the Meaningful Things that have occurred, I still find myself analyzing – and maybe even questioning – the legitimacy, the reality of them all, at times.

I was raised by skeptics, after all.

So, the short answer is Yes. Perhaps I have been sent signs – and maybe even wonders! – but in the end, while many of them were inexplicable, all of them were intangible.

I’ve only had experiences, and unfortunately, there isn’t any proof of them that I could show you, much less tell you.

#30 days