bloodteethandflame

A life in threes

Month for Loki, Fourteenth: Knot.

In the summer of 2012, I had one of the first of a series of strange vivid dreams  that involved Loki:

In this particular dream, I found myself searching through  a building of many rooms, and while I didn’t know what or who I was looking for, I knew I was looking for something…or someone.

Most of the rooms were spacious but empty – white walls, sparsely furnished, lit by buzzing fluorescent ceiling panels.  Like an abandoned office building, which I sensed may or may not be underground.

And then I was surprised to come upon what appeared to be a middle-aged man with dark auburn hair in one of the rooms.  As I’d mentioned, though most of the rooms were nothing more that white empty walls, the room this man was in was full of  brightly colored yarn.   Skeins of various colors and in various states of unravel lay scattered all over the floor.  While a few seemed no more than tangled handfuls of yarn, others were neatly wound and stacked in piles of three or four bundles, sorted by color.

Meanwhile the biggest jumble of knots lay closest to the man’s right foot.  I could also see that he was barefoot…. and he wasn’t exactly sitting in the chair.

This man was sprawled in an elaborately carved wooden chair large enough to easily be mistaken for some sort of throne.  I say sprawled because though I came upon him sitting upon this odd throne from behind and at somewhat of an angle, I immediately realized that this man was quite gangly; one of his legs casually dangled over one of the arm rests, and I couldn’t help but wonder how he’d  miraculously found a way to fold the length of the rest of his body comfortably within the confines of the seat.  

I don’t think he noticed me at first, as his head was bent in concentration upon his hands and the tangled mess of colored yarn in his lap.

However, when he did finally look up at me

He grinned….and casually asked me

if I knew

who he was.

Loki.

And Loki appeared to be knitting.  

But not with needles, mind you; He seemed to be knitting with His fingers.

(from my notebook, 17 July 2012)

~~~

But I learned something interesting today.

It occurs to me that Loki may not have been knitting.

He may have been nålbinding (“needle-binding”), an ancient technique which may pre-date knitting and crocheting by 1500 years, where a single length of thread or yarn is passed through loops by use of a single needle, and the resulting fabric is sturdily connected by interlocking these loops of yarn or thread with one another.  Nålebinding is also called ‘knotless netting.’

I came across this information today – though honestly I was researching something else that had nothing at all to do with Norse clothing -but a reference to socks caught my eye and I found my way to Hurstwic.org:

“However, Norse socks were not knitted (which apparently was unknown to the Norse). Instead, they were made using an ancient technique called nálbinding (needle-binding). Using a single large, thick needle, it was a method of knotting the yarn. Although time consuming, this approach resulted in a nearly indestructible garment. If the thread were to break or wear out, the garment would still be intact, since the thread was everywhere knotted to neighboring threads. Mittens and caps were also made using this technique. The sketch to the left shows the steps involved in making an article of clothing using the nálbinding technique. Note that the fabric grows in a spiral pattern. Once the spiral is large enough, it is knotted back on itself to create the shape of the finished article.”

 

(Photos: l-r: spiral nal-binding_sketch; Sock found in York; from Hurstwic.org.)

~~~

How does this personally relate to me in regards to Loki?

Loki has been referring me to knots and knotwork for many years now, and as it is with His method, I hadn’t any idea as to why He was always referring to such things, either literally or metaphorically.  But I’m starting to connect some things about knots and knotwork today.

But, barring that, it does give His references to ‘creating sockpuppets’ a whole new meaning, eh?

 

firepexelsRumi

Month for Loki, Twelfth: Love You Madly

For the past few years, this song was on my Loki playlist.

But lately, I have come to realize that this song could easily be evocative of both of Them.

Now I don’t know so much about kissing

but I do know that I have

(at one time or another)

sat across the table from either of Them

wishing I could run.

So.

That being said

 if Loki requests that I welcome Odin as I’ve welcomed Him

Then I might as well accept that I have gone a bit mad, eh?

Because I do want to love Them madly.

(Perhaps ‘madly’ might be the only way one could love Them.)

Words fail.

~~~

As well Perfect Drug is starting to have Blood Bros overtones too…

O.o

Month for Loki, Eleventh: Burn.

Because He is the fire

He is asking me to burn.

Month for Loki, Tenth: German lesson.

So, in case I hadn’t mentioned, I have been trying to learn German over the last six months.

Though as much as I have tried, according to the fluency paradigm of the application I’m using, I’ve only reached about 35% fluency and that supposedly corresponds to a vocabulary of approximately 800 words.

Only 800 words.*

In my waking life, I find myself translating simple phrases that I read or hear into German, as the program I use encourages this practice as it promotes intuitive learning.

Nonetheless, something odd has begun to occur: These basic German phrases have also begun to seep into my subconscious, as certain words and phrases have crept in during several of my daily meditations and have been popping up in a few of my dreams lately.

Thus, I was half-tempted to title this post:

Was sagt Er? (What does He say?)

Case in point, I had an intense meditation the other day, wherein this phrase kept echoing in my head:

Schauen sie mich an

(Look at me.)

Now that’s a phrase that I knew, as I’d been studying a unit on imperatives (ie; commands) last week, so I didn’t think much of it, and I mentally pushed it away, and continued to focus on my breathing.

However, that phrase continued to surface throughout my meditation, so I treated it as typical distracting mind-chatter, and I tried my best to accept that it was going to keep floating through my head for the duration.

But I found it difficult to focus after a while.

 

And then last night, I had a dream I was talking to a man in my dream – who had been speaking English -until suddenly he said:

Was wirst du mir beiten?**

Not once, but twice.

Now that immediately brought to mind the phrase I use to refer to Them – sie beiden – so I stopped, and began to examine the phrase itself, trying to translate it, wondering if I was hearing/understanding what I heard…

But thinking of ‘beiden’ made no sense:

Was wirst du mir beiden?

Which, off the top of my head, I was translating to mean: ‘What will you both to me?’

I was confused.

I said to the person, Was sagst du? (What are you saying?)

To which the person responded:

Wieso rennst du von mir?

Which I was pretty certain was

Why are you running from me?

O.o

~~~

* I feel a bit disappointed in myself, as a vocabulary of 800 words strikes me as being a rather small amount.  I would think that I would be more fluent after six months of study.

**  When I awoke this morning, I plugged the phrase ‘Was wirst du mir beiden?‘ into Google translate, it suggested that it was not ‘beiden‘ but ‘beiten‘ which is from the verb, ‘to offer’ – therefore, Was wirst du mir beiten? translates to ‘What will you offer me?’

 

 

 

Month for Loki, Ninth: I love Your face.

In what has become sort of a tradition for this blog during the month of July, today’s post will feature some of my favorite artwork of Loki

First up, is a rather new favorite, ‘Loki in pencils’ by artist, Heidi Black on Tumblr:

I am amazed by this piece – look at those flames! – so effing bright that the subtle glow is reflected off the fur collar of His coat.

I just can’t even…*boggles*

I find these details especially impressive, considering that this stunning image is rendered in colored pencils.

(Personally, I find it damned near impossible to convey such crisp, clean lines in pencils myself….but she carries it off like a boss.)

Rock on, Ms. Black.

 

Next up is another example of stunning pencil work on tinted paper:

….from the incredibly talented Paige Carpenter, a depiction of Loki, titled ‘Balder’s Murderer.’

I love how His crown of mistletoe positively glows….and those eyes of His.

Haunting.

 

And speaking of His eyes…

Here’s ‘MythLoki’ by HaileyRenee, whose tumblr is here at Disturbingly Rendered.

 

And finally a delightful cartoon rendition of a playful Loki…

…by elreki-arts, on tricksterinthehedges on tumblr.

I love His grin.

I also love His stripe-y rainbow socks, the Burger King crown and the ridiculous  pun on His shirt.

LOL

 

Month for Loki, Eighth: Trickster.

“There is no way to suppress change…not even in heaven; there is only a choice between a way of living which allows constant, if gradual alterations and a way of living that combines great control and cataclysmic upheavals. Those who panic and bind the trickster choose the latter path. It would be better to learn to play with him, better especially to develop skills (cultural, spiritual, artistic) that allow some commerce with accident, and some acceptance of the changes that contingency will always engender.”

— Lewis Hyde, Trickster Makes This World

Month for Loki, Seventh: Crafting, connections and correspondences.

One of the first ways that Loki came to me was through colors.

I find crafting jewelry to be relaxing, so began making ankle bracelets for myself, and dedicating both the act of making the item and then, item itself to Him.  As I may have mentioned before, creating things – whether it’s crafting, cooking or making artwork – seems to help me connect with myself and with Him.

Here are the colors and common associations that I use in my crafts for Loki:

Red: Passion, heat, blood – a color that evokes life force, vitality, sexuality

Orange: Flame, joy, fire – a color associated with Loki as a fire God, and God of the hearth. Warmth.

Yellow: specifically joy and happiness.

Green/Brown: Creativity, growth, change.  Laufey (Loki’s mother) is associated with trees, so I feel Loki has a special affinity for trees and plants as well.  A peaceful, lush shades of green and browns that signify growth and earth vitality.  I  feel Jormungandr can be associated with a paler green, signifying a connection to water/oceans, as well.

Blue: Sky (air) and ocean (water); another color (as with green) that can evoke peaceful associations as well as chaotic, energetic ones – a clear blue sky and a calm sea can also turn to storm-filled sky lit with flashes of blue-white lightning and dark-blue churning waves.

Purple: Self, knowledge.  The color of the crown chakra.  The color of sovereignty, divine connection and magic.

Gold: Treasures. Gold for Gullveig. Mead. As it is with purple, gold is associated with sovereignty, wealth, power, perhaps even decadence.  Gold can signify Loki as sovereign, or as consort, fool, or foil towards what is considered kingly, lawful, or valuable. Loki as a Gift-Bringer provides the Gods (Sif, Thor, Freyr) with items of value.

White: Bone. Purity of ash when paired with black – Loki as Sacrificial God of funeral pyre

Black: Secret or hidden knowledge, magic, death, sacrifice.  Darkness of the cave, of the mind, of the shadows within.  Loki as the psychopomp, the death of self, and self-delusion.

Pink: The flush of skin, the ‘comely hue.’  Another joyful, vital color, that may also evoke His playfulness, eroticism, flirtation or pleasure.

Silver: Silvertongue. Another color evokes ‘value’ – wealth, treasure.

Gemstones:

Carnelian: vitality, sexuality, warmth.  Stone for the red/orange chakra

Snowflake obsidian: Grounding, chthonic.  Coloring is evocative of ashes.

Iron Pyrite/Fool’s gold

Fire Agate

Red Jasper

Labradorite: Not the flame but the lightning, energy of electricity – I associate this stone not only with Loki but with His father, Farbauti, as well.

Jet: Grounding, along with other lava stones – reminiscent of a fire deity.

Green kyanite: Calming, stabilizing force.  I associate this stone with His mother, Laufey.

~~~

Colors I associate with members of His family:

Angrboda: Blood red, rust red, black, forest green.

Fenrir: Blood red, black

Hela: White, black, bone.  As well, a pale sort of pink.

Jormungandr: colors of water: aquatic blues and pale sea greens

Sigyn: Medium to pale blue, lavender, mauve, pink, yellow.  Also browns, heathered grey.

Narvi: Tans and browns, earthy tones of green, and gold.

Vali: Black, red, speckled greys.

Sleipnir: Dark to medium blues, black, silver, grey.

Farbauti: white, electric blue, medium purple

Laufey: earth tones – greens, browns, gold.

 

 

 

 

 

Month for Loki, Sixth: Ritual (poem)

Last month, I began reading Elizabeth Vongvisith’s Be Thou My Hearth and Shield: Prayers in the Northern Tradition, an excellent collection of prayers and poetry she edited for Asphodel Press in 2009.

I’d read some of the reviews on Lulu, and as one reviewer put it, ‘This book is excellent! It sits at my bedside as I read the prayers daily…..

As I have found myself doing that very same thing, I could not agree with zir more.

This is an excellent book, one which I would highly recommend to anyone who seeks to connect to the Norse Gods, let alone Loki.

And today, for my sixth post, I’d like to share this heartfelt prayer-poem by April Ragan, which resonated with me deeply:

Ritual (for Loki)

What need have I for chants

When every rise of my lungs

Breathes for You

A hallowed hymn.

What need have I for music

When every beat of my heart

Drums for You

A sacred tattoo.

What need have I for dance

When every gesture of my being

Moves for You

In a rhythm of devotion

What need have I for magic circles

When every piece of my soul

Burns for You

In a consecrated ring of flame

What need have for these accompaniments

When the essence of my being

Is a life-long ritual to You.*

Loki, Kalari Stance, uploaded to flickr, shivarea31

~~~

*Elizabeth Vongvisith, editor, Be Thou My Hearth and Shield: Prayers in the Northern Tradition, (Hubbardston, Massachusetts; Asphodel Press, 2009) p. 125

 

Month for Loki, Fifth: Signs.

Again, a member of a Lokean forum posted an interesting question today:

Has anyone felt moved to learn sign language for/because of Loki? (Do any of you sign btw?)

This question got me to thinking, as I hadn’t thought about it, much less admitted to anyone else that though Loki and I have been communicating non-verbally for a while now, I’ve never gone into much detail as to how we communicate.

In the summer of 2012 – which I consider the second beginning of my contact with Loki – any ‘communication’ I experienced with Him was almost entirely non-verbal: I first experienced His presence in dreams and meditations through particular sensations, and through association with sudden, lingering scents.

Then I started experiencing visuals of Him, but these visions only occurred in vivid dreams and during particularly intense meditations.  Even in those vivid dreams, I rarely ‘heard’ His voice and more often than not, there was hardly ever any sound.

I’d begun to see references to the god-phone, but I didn’t think I had one.

The more I read about the ‘godphone’ concept, the more I began to feel that perhaps I wasn’t wired for such a thing.  So, I accepted this, began to refer myself headblind, believing it was not possible for me to ‘hear’ Loki anyway.  I felt confused and often wondered if what was happening between us was communication at all.

There was a long while wherein I dreamt of Him rather regularly, and while I would often feel sensations or even smell the scents I’d come to associate with His presence, on the rare occasion that I’d get a visual, He seemed to communicate by showing me objects, or indicating that I should observe His body language, or communicate concepts to me through hand gestures.

I felt that Loki ‘spoke’ to me only through sensations, scents and symbols, nudging me to make connections between seemingly unrelated objects, concepts and ideas.

And it was only later – sometimes months later – that I’d make the connections: What He’d shown me in dreams would appear later in a string of coincidences in my waking life: He’d been holding a bird, reading a book, or drawing me a symbol, and then later, I’d see flocks of those birds in my backyard, or see that symbol on a random bit of street graffiti, or I’d catch sight of that book displayed in a store window.

There’s nothing like that sudden inevitable sense of deja-vu.  Where have I seen this before?  Where have I heard of this before?

A good example of this is in 2013 – almost a year after my first exposure to the visuals, I realized He had been showing me mudras.

So, as you might imagine, it took me a long time to to figure out that Loki had been using sign language with me.

So, you can imagine my surprise to realize that, over the past three, perhaps four years, I have learned how to finger-spell and I have learned to recognize basic actions/concepts (signs for want, give, need, do, go, and love, for example)

Like the mudras, I thought these were particular and unique to the interactions between Loki and I.

But I didn’t realize the full extent of the meaning of that happening until last July, my family and I adopted a puppy.

And it turns out my puppy is deaf.

So in my research of learning how to communicate with my puppy, I feel that strange but exhilarating sense of discovery when I watch videos of hand signals -which are various extensions based upon American Sign Language – for different basic commands, such:

Listen to me.

Pay attention/Focus.

Remember

Do (you) understand?

 

Now, my signing skills have had to improve in yet another realm of my life, and I realize that I really should buckle down and actually learn ASL.

And I find it interesting and sort of amazing that even though my ‘godphone’ has gotten a lot better…

Loki still defaults to signing sometimes anyway.