bloodteethandflame

Today is Mother’s Day.

So here is a poem by Jess Urlichs, that I had been saving to post today.

Enjoy!

~~~

“I wonder who you were mum,
the you, before I was me.
Before the branches of you shook,
and gave me all the leaves.

Did the giving leave you breathless?
And then did you give some more?
Was there any left for you
In that cup to pour?

And when you gave me life
Did you live for yourself too?
Did you feel like a different person
when you entered a room?

And did you sacrifice a lot
all so you could have me?
I know you, but I wonder,
who you used to be.

Was I your making, and your mirror?
Did you hold me sometimes and cry?
Did the lion within you get stronger?
Or did it run away to die?

Mum I know your life began,
before I came along,
but did the rhythm of my breath
give your life a sweeter song?

And that flame that lives inside you,
did it flicker, or did it grow?
The lighthouse that guided me all these years,
that now lives in my bones.

I wonder these things now mum,
as I hold my babies close.
The way that I now matter to them,
is what matters to me the most.

Did you feel completely grounded?
But with a smile that had changed?
Did it shape all that you do, and more?
Did you too feel rearranged?

And though you were my person,
were you still your person too?
Was it like unstitching parts of us,
to get back some of you?

And lastly mum, as I sway here,
I think I understand
Just what it takes to be the moon,
the stars, and someone’s land.

But sometimes I wish, in a parallel world
I could visit for just one day.
Where you didn’t know me, or who I was,
and you didn’t know my name.

And I’d talk with you about all sorts,
your laughter like the sun,
and I’d recognise that smile
but with plans, so free and young.

And know you, just as I am now,
before your name was Mum.”

— Jess Urlichs

Book: Beautiful Chaos: https://www.jessicaurlichs.com/beautifulchaosbook