Loki | bloodteethandflame

July 6, 2015

Month for Loki, Day 6: Building community, building energy.

Sometimes I think that I have forgotten what’s important.

So I attended a discussion recently on building community.

I had hoped that attending this discussion would give me some hands-on strategies for building community….instead, I realized something else entirely.

It turns out that this particular ‘building community’ discussion definitely had a particular Lokean spin on it for me.

From the start, the invited speaker admitted that the basis of his philosophy of community that he was there to discuss was based upon the premise that we are all energetic beings – made of energy – and that we are all looking for love in this world.

Following that, he continued along that love is pure energy in itself and that is what we seek to get for ourselves but it is also what we seek to share with each other .

The whole thing about energy, he insisted, could be explained entirely through physics:

Energy is never destroyed, it just changes form.

We are energy contained in a body temporarily but our energy is timeless and limitless and ancient. In a sense, we are made of similar stuff as the Gods are made. We are as much of Them as They are of us, and that is what attracts Them to us, and us to Them.

Simply put, we are energy carried through time and we are just trying to grow and learn.

Therefore, the meaning of life is to love and to grow and to experience ‘being’.

And I almost cried because it finally connected in my head: That is what He has been talking about, what He is always talking about, when He says:

You are energy. You are a force of love.

Let your love be the energy that it is, pure and simple.

Get away from agendas and petty concerns and the shit that gets tied up in what humans manufacture to keep themselves from that truth.
It’s not that this is the first time that this has ever blown my mind – because I know this.

I am in a perpetual state of my mind being blown open by that truth; I am always learning and re-learning that truth.

It seems to be the only truth: Be. Just allow yourself to be. Experience ‘being’ Love is sharing that experience of being. We are all made of that energy. Make it positive not negative. Move forward, don’t get mired.

I learn; I forget.

Meanwhile, when I forget, I get mired again in petty human manufactures.

And I have to remind myself constantly that these worries, these fears that I have are manufactured; that I can choose to ignore manufactures that hurt me, that seek to constrain joy, constrain the full manifestation of being.

I have to remind myself that I am not damaged; I am no more or no less of the energy that I was at the beginning of time.
And that is a comforting thought.
Nothing has been destroyed. The existence of energy is permanent; anything else is just details, window dressing, constraints.
You are not broken; you’ve just forgotten that you are an energetic being who has gotten mired in manufactured constraints.
Let others be.

If you can help another to realize the constraints, fine. But, ask yourself: are you adding to their constraints with your own petty constraints?

(I hate to admit it, but…probably.)
So. Let those go.

That is not who you are.

That is not who they are.

So. If I can help someone see that we are all just energetic beings – made of energy having a human experience – rather than being a rock or a tree or a timber wolf this go-round – then I have done all I can do?

Pretty much.

Just love. Just be. Seek joy. Be the joy that is in this world. Grow. Help others grow. Remember what you are.

~~~

5 Comments

July 2, 2015

Month for Loki, Day 2: Smile.

SceithAilm on DeviantArt has done it again:

The Man with the Tattered Smile.

I love this rendition of Loki; the subtle tattoos, the jingle bells, the gorgeous braiding…!

Honestly I don’t think that she has ever drawn anything that I haven’t liked.

❤

2 Comments

July 1, 2015

Month for Loki, Day 1: Apple of My Eye

This is the sound of me chickening out.

I had written a post early in the morning, but I kept having to put it in drafts, only to come back to it several times.

Since I kept starting and stopping while writing, I reached point wherein I realized that I’d lost my train of thought after the fourth or fifth time because we were flying to DC for the week this afternoon.

It was definitely a major case of Postus Interruptus.

So here I am drinking an apple pie moonshine.

Hail Loki!

2 Comments

June 12, 2015

Funny, that.

Even though I know

Not everything that comes up in my life is a message.

Not everything in my life in my life has a hidden meaning.

And most importantly of all…

I know that if there is a message or a meaning

the message and the meaning aren’t

always

specifically

meant for me.

But then again, certain things show up in my reading and I have to wonder

Just what is the Universe up to?

1 Comment

June 8, 2015

3rd Blog-aversary

According to WordPress, I have been blogging on bloodteethandflame for three years (as of 28 May 2012), and so I received an email notifying me of my 3rd Anniversary about 10 days ago

Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com!

You registered on WordPress.com 3 years ago!

Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging!

That took me quite by surprise, since I had thought that WordPress would be counting from the date of my first blog entry (7 June 2012) rather than the date that I had first registered.

And yes, I had been planning to write an entry on June 7th, simply because I did get quite a peculiar reminder on 26 May 2015:

I was riding in the car, and we were driving through Winter Haven, on the way back from my therapy appointment. I was riding in the car with V, and we were talking about our kids’ upcoming summer vacation.

I wasn’t really paying attention the cars around me, until he suddenly remarked something about the car that was directly in front of us.

‘Look, it’s a Loki car,’ he said.

I looked at the license plate, expecting that to be what he was referring to, but there was nothing about the license plate that seemed Lokean.

And here is the photo that I took on my phone…but I was not close enough to capture the detail that I am referring to, so you’re just going to have to trust me on this:

It was a Nissan Altima from a Lokey dealership.

(You can almost see their logo (Lokey) to the left of the license plate under the Altima logo if you magnify the photo 200% or so)

And that seems just a funny coincidence – since the last time I had heard reference to a Lokey dealership was here in this entry — that describes my sleepless night at an event, when V and I were in Clearwater in the first weekend of June 2012.

Which also happens to be the first entry that I wrote on bloodteethandflame. 🙂

It has only been recently that I realize that that this particular reminder arrived perfectly on the day that it was due.

It’s funny how the Universe works, isn’t it?

2 Comments

May 16, 2015

The Hypothetical Chicken Sandwich: a conversation.

Scene: A popular restaurant where I frequently have lunch.

(I am looking at the menu, and I realize much to my dismay that the restaurant no longer offers the version of chicken sandwich that I love.)

Me: (dismayed at the lack of my favorite chicken sandwich.)

L: But look! There’s a new version of your chicken sandwich.

Me: I don’t want to try that new sandwich. What if… I hate it?

L: Well. Have you ever considered what if… you love it?

<trolls>Oh no…you just might! <trolls>

So. I suggest that you try that sandwich.

Me: I might.

L: You should. *grins*

Me: (orders the sandwich)

L: ….

Me: OK. I think…I think I love it.

L: *eyeroll* This is… My not-surprised face.

~~~Later~~~

Me: Hopefully, in my next life, I’ll be more easygoing and cheerful.

L: Tell Me why you couldn’t be more easygoing and cheerful in this life.

Me: It’s too late.

L: It’s never too late to decide to be happy.

~~~

So, this seems to have become a thing.

‘Hypothetical chicken sandwich’ seems to be our conversational shorthand for a moment when I refuse to adapt or choose to fight an inevitable change:

3 Comments

May 14, 2015

Process, and projects.

So, as I mentioned a post or two ago, I have been working on several projects.

I have been making jewelry that mostly consists of beadwork and wire-wrapping.

I began last summer making necklaces and ankle bracelets, simply because I found that the process has become quite a meditative and calming activity for me.

I’ve made several pieces now, mostly for myself, as devotional jewelry, because most of the devotional jewelry that I’d purchased from retail was beginning to fall apart.

As well, I have been wearing an ankle bracelet 24/7 * for several years now, and I have found through experience that a lot of ankle bracelets (whether purchased retail or hand made by me) aren’t sturdy enough for such constant wear…or at least, the clasps aren’t. I’m still trying to work out a means of clasp attachment – or a clasp/attachment combination – that will hold for longer than four months. I’m getting there.

On the other hand, I switch out my necklaces a lot more often. I have made several pieces each that are dedicated to specific Gods, and so I often wear those necklaces for shorter periods of time. I might just phase out some of my older (retail purchased) pieces in favor of wearing exclusively handmade ones.

And, of course, there are times when I make something quick, thinking that I might wear it, and then I get the distinct impression that Someone likes it so much that I’ll end up just leaving it on Their altar…

…as is the case here.

The beading cord is recycled hemp, which I’m not familiar working with, and thus the attachment point for this toggle clasp is probably not sturdy enough for wearing for any length of time anyway.

But I have come up with other ideas to expand upon this design, as I really love the earth-toned color scheme.

*Loki seems to appreciate that I have been wearing an ankle bracelet which has a design/color scheme that honors Him and His families.

~~~

I’ve also been working on an embroidery project that features all the Futhark runes.

When it is finished, I will be sure to post a picture of it, as it has taken me a while. Certain runes seem to be a lot more difficult for me to stitch than others, and my perfectionist tendencies aren’t serving me so well in that department.

But as it is with beading, I find embroidery a very satisfying and meditative devotional activity. I am guessing that there might not be too many people in this world who enjoy embroidering their altar cloths as much as I do, but I enjoy it very much.

I probably should switch out my altar cloths more often, or likewise, create more layers on the altars to showcase the ones I have finished.

I usually have one to three unfinished cloths at any given time, so I definitely have an altar cloth embroidery addiction, at the very least. Ahem.

~~~

And finally, drawing.

I was puttering around DeviantArt the other day, and I realized that it has now been 3 years that I have had an account there, and yet I have never submitted any artwork. Still.

(Still, a year or more after saying that I would.)

So, I was having a conversation – no, more like an argument, honestly – with an artist friend of mine yesterday. In the course of our heated discussion, my artist-friend gave me all kinds of grief in regards to my obvious procrastination/aversion towards actually posting artwork, which led to his calling me out in his frustration, in a very Loki-esque manner:

You know what, Heathir?

You need to stop talking about doing, and…f***ing DO.

You need to either shit or get off the pot.

And it was a small thing, such a small thing, my not posting any artwork, you know.

I don’t know what I have been waiting for these past three years. I’ve never had any excuse whatsoever not to post artwork…but I kept hemming and hawing, anyway.

And there was absolutely no reason to be afraid.

So, as soon as I got off the phone with him, I went to DeviantArt, scanned, and finally posted some artwork.

And the more that I scanned, the more that I wished that I’d keep my artwork in one place in a more organized fashion.

I scanned six pages from my sketch-book. I started to wonder where I’d put some of the other sketches that I had done last summer. I began looking through my notebooks, looking specifically for my vulture sketches, and all those face and figure studies that I did last month.

I couldn’t find a lot of what I was thinking to post on DeviantArt because I have been so disorganized in storing my artwork. *sigh*

But, there’s actually artwork there now.

(There should be more, but I learned that my scanner doesn’t pick up my graphite sketches as well as I would have liked. I’ll take that as a sign that I need to draw more confidently, ie; press down a little harder with the pencils, so the scanner will pick up the lines.)

In related news, I did a few more face studies, and one figure study yesterday in preparation for a t-shirt silkscreen project that I have been putting together:

(Figure study #1: I am pleased with the leanness of the body, but I’m not as pleased with the face as much. The eyes are fair to good (right eye is clear, left is not because of erasures), and I like the slightly raised eyebrow, but the mouth, nose, and facial hair need work. And I realize that the hair on the head is all wrong.)

(Face study #1: I love the hair, and even though it’s shorter than intended, I like the flow. I like the left eye; too many erasures are muddying up the right eye, but the eye placement looks good to me. The nose seems wrong somehow, and the mouth seems a bit too wide/too stiff of an expression. Overall, He looks older than I intended, as well.)

(Face Study #2: Facial feature placement seems good, but He still looks older than I intended. Nose is better, and mouth is better. Tried to keep the raised eyebrow.)

(Face Study #3: Most of the time, I look at several photos of actual people and study their faces, and practice drawing the parts of the face several times before incorporating the details of several faces while I’m drawing one face. This was a total freehand in that this face came together all at once, rather than incorporating the various details of several faces from studying photos. This is the last, and oddly enough, the most simple face of the three that I drew. I know that this one still needs work, but I really like that He doesn’t look so…middle-aged as He did in the other ones. )

Hail Loki, Fair of Face ❤

~~~

2 Comments

May 12, 2015

Spending time in the cheapest rooms.

The past few days have been so incredibly stressful/awful/what-have you.

This past Sunday being Mother’s Day did not help. (For some context on that, you can read some here.)

And again, I am aware that some of it is my own damned fault…and yet some of it is not.

But I am reminded that only I can change myself, and only I can change my attitude about what’s been happening.

I cannot change anyone else, nor can I change their attitude.

But nonetheless, whenever I have the sort of time that I have been having – a time which seems damned near insurmountable some days – I get this song as a reminder:

And following that, I usually get the Universal poke to the head from Him, thusly:

May 8, 2015

Tangled Up in Blue

Concerning Petrarch, poetry, and a question from a reader:

I read a lot of poetry, and I listen to a lot of music.

Often these two habits will intersect in my life in strange and delightful ways, especially where and when my Gods are involved.

One particular song that I have always loved is Bob Dylan’s Tangled Up in Blue.

And I came to love it even more when the Indigo Girls released their cover of that song on their live album, 1200 Curfews, in 1995.

As you may or may not know, it was not until 1997 or so that I started getting specific spiritual nudges again. And sufficed to say, this song came up a lot on the radio at that time, and as a result, I heard the Indigo Girls’ cover several times a day.

But as much as I knew the lyrics, there was one particular verse that always baffled me, however.

This one:

She lit a burner on the stove and offered me a pipe
“I thought you’d never say hello” she said
“You look like the silent type”
Then she opened up a book of poems
And handed it to me
Written by an Italian poet
From the thirteenth century
And every one of them words rang true
And glowed like burning coal
Pouring off of every page
Like it was written in my soul from me to you
Tangled up in blue.

All I could think of was…what sort of words were those? And even more so, who wrote them?

I mean, as a person who loves poetry, I could absolutely agree that poetry, in all its forms, is the highest form of word-alchemy.

As well, I would be the first to agree that good poetry certainly can and does transcend time.

But I had to, absolutely had to… find out who was that ‘Italian poet from the thirteenth century’?

And no, I don’t think that anybody really knows.

As far as I can tell, Bob Dylan has never identified any particular poet as being the poet that he references…so I began to wonder if Dylan was just simply trying to convey some universally profound fact about love and human relationships, as well as something similar to what I just wrote up there about poetry being word-alchemy.

~~~

Cut to three years ago, I was in a large retail bookstore chain, just browsing, as I often do.

If you must know, I wasn’t even in the poetry section. Because, as much as I love poetry, I hardly ever buy books of it.

So it was more than likely that I’d been skimming a Kingdom Hearts graphic novel with my kid, or trying to choose between two or three sci-fi/fantasy anthologies, or whatever, when ‘Tangled Up in Blue’ came up on the in-store music system.

I remember looking up from the book that I had been browsing, to see that someone had left a copy of Petrarchian love sonnets on the floor.

…and that exact verse – with line about an Italian poet from the thirteenth century – was the verse that was playing when I noticed that book on the floor.

And no, I didn’t buy the book. I brought it back to the poetry section and left it there.

If I bought anything, I probably purchased an anthology of short horror stories and a comic book for my kid.

But when I got home, I Googled ‘Petrarch.’ Having been an English major in college, I did know that Petrarch was an Italian poet… and just as any English major who studied poetry, I was familiar with the Petrarchian sonnet.

What detail that I didn’t know, or likewise remember, was that Petrarch wrote most of those sonnets about love and loss…in the 13th century.

In that next week or so, I hemmed and hawed about this whole thing being a ‘universal sign’…

But eventually I did purchase a book of Petrarchian love sonnets a few months later.

So.

Yes.

You may take it however you will, but that book of Petrarchian love sonnets is on my altar because of one particularly sneaky incidence of pandoramancy coinciding with a misplaced book.

🙂

5 Comments

May 8, 2015

File under: A few of my favorite things.

I swear to Gods, I’m not a wreck all of the time.

But lately, one might think so, judging by how often I have chosen to write posts that detail my latest struggles.

So, in an effort to be more positive, I wanted to post something that makes me happy.

This is one of my Loki altars:

This altar happens to be the first thing that I see every morning and the last thing that I see every night. And, as you might imagine, it holds several devotional items that have come to have a lot of meaning for me lately.

First, there is the very large picture of Himself, a special commission that I had done (for my 43rd birthday) by talented Pagan artist, Kimberly Williams. While this picture might not be everyone’s cup of tea – as some folks are of the opinion that He has a frighteningly voracious grin – but I find His grin tremendously comforting, if not downright friendly at the end of a particularly trying day.

Secondly, there are those lovely – and powerful! -Loki prayer beads purchased from Fiberwytch on Etsy. I can’t say enough how much I love and heartily recommend Beth Lynch’s work. The beads often reflect light with a lot of fire and flash whenever I use them, and the hematite and jackfruit beads are positively silky to the touch. The sleepy fox charm, on the other hand, comes across to me as more adorable than sneaky, and that’s just fine with me.

Overall, these prayer beads are a joy to handle and use. I pack them whenever I will be away from home overnight.

Thirdly, is my latest purchase -also from Fiberwytch – a tinned candle with a wooden wick for Loki that is so strongly scented of espresso that my family often insists that I must be brewing a bottomless pot of fresh coffee in the bedroom. (Though I would imagine that He wouldn’t mind that one bit.) As well, the wooden wick does crackle like a miniature bonfire – which also sounds and smells woodsy and wonderful – creating the perfect atmosphere for Lokean meditations.

And so there you have it -three of my favorite devotional items made by two talented Pagan artisans – both of whom I would highly recommend.

~~~

Perhaps tomorrow, I will post some of my own personal artwork, crafts, and offerings that I have been making to the Gods

….as well as the beginnings of my latest long-term fun project that I’m hoping to expand upon this summer.

❤

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Tag: Loki