Month for Loki: Five

by beanalreasa

Loki has always nudged me toward finding my power and voice in all aspects of my life.

But that being said, I think that Loki and I are currently at the part where he’s making me stand on my own. (Which, I have come to realize, is a very important part of my particular spiritual journey.)

Though, perhaps I’m not as mentally ready as I had previously assumed.

You see, instead of hearing him through channeling, or in dreams,  like I used to do, I’ve been sensing him in other, different ways now.

I’m feeling his steady presence in things like natural occurrences (clouds, rainbows, plants and animals).

Not surprisingly, this new paradigm has led me to feeling a much deeper connection to the earth.

You see,  I’ve spent much of my life being full of rage and I most certainly have some abandonment issues from my own familial traumas.  Nowadays, it seems as if I’ve survived a few more traumas, as well as having had a heavy dose of shadow work and failure – and this is how the dynamic between us has further evolved and developed over the last ten years.

But despite what I have – at intervals – allowed myself to assume over the last two years or so, Loki has not abandoned me.

I know that now

But I have found peace through incorporating bhakti and Buddhist thought, as well as being nudged toward Rumi and even Alan Watts in expanding my spiritual practice.

In short, I’ve been having an ongoing lesson of learning to stand up for myself while Loki has stood by and watched me learn and grow – which I’ve often referred to as the lesson of learning to swim rather than watching me drown.

Has it been successful?

I’d like to think so.