Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can get you in a lot of trouble.
Manners are always important.
Smart is good. Lucky is better. (Smart and lucky is the best of all.)
Sometimes the long way around is the best way home.
Never let the truth interfere with a good story.
(Neef’s Rules for Changelings from this book)
Even though I know
Not everything that comes up in my life is a message.
Not everything in my life in my life has a hidden meaning.
And most importantly of all…
I know that if there is a message or a meaning
the message and the meaning aren’t
always
specifically
meant for me.
But then again, certain things show up in my reading and I have to wonder
Just what is the Universe up to?
I’ve been meaning to post about several things, the most of which is a very long post that contains a lot of musing about community, polyamory — and of course, Loki.
But as much as I have been wanting to finish it up, I have been down with a seemingly unshakable cold that is kicking my ass, and thus, I’m having trouble generating the level of coherence that I need in order to complete that task.
(So I’d like to apologize to anyone who has been waiting for that promised post. I hope to get it done soon.)
~~~
Meanwhile, I’m focusing on completing several embroidery and beading projects, as I find them rather soothing activities, since I haven’t had much energy to be vertical much these past few days.
As a result, I finished two devotional necklaces that I’d been working on, since I’ve finally received those green kyanite beads that I ordered for them, and I started embroidering the other three borders for that altar cloth.
Here is one of the necklaces:
~~~
And here are the roses that were sent to cheer me up.
Finally finished with the rune embroidery on this altar cloth.
I just wanted to post to let those who were asking to see it.
I’ve already gotten the nudge that perhaps I could embroider this 3 more times – as a border for each side.
Though I really hope that that was perhaps not meant as an actual request…as I’m really feeling inclined to embroider something else for a change.
Or I could just look at it as a means to further memorize runes…much like those embroidery samplers of the alphabet that young children were known to make in colonial times.
/end whineage.
According to WordPress, I have been blogging on bloodteethandflame for three years (as of 28 May 2012), and so I received an email notifying me of my 3rd Anniversary about 10 days ago
Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com!
You registered on WordPress.com 3 years ago!
Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging!
That took me quite by surprise, since I had thought that WordPress would be counting from the date of my first blog entry (7 June 2012) rather than the date that I had first registered.
And yes, I had been planning to write an entry on June 7th, simply because I did get quite a peculiar reminder on 26 May 2015:
I was riding in the car, and we were driving through Winter Haven, on the way back from my therapy appointment. I was riding in the car with V, and we were talking about our kids’ upcoming summer vacation.
I wasn’t really paying attention the cars around me, until he suddenly remarked something about the car that was directly in front of us.
‘Look, it’s a Loki car,’ he said.
I looked at the license plate, expecting that to be what he was referring to, but there was nothing about the license plate that seemed Lokean.
And here is the photo that I took on my phone…but I was not close enough to capture the detail that I am referring to, so you’re just going to have to trust me on this:
It was a Nissan Altima from a Lokey dealership.
(You can almost see their logo (Lokey) to the left of the license plate under the Altima logo if you magnify the photo 200% or so)
And that seems just a funny coincidence – since the last time I had heard reference to a Lokey dealership was here in this entry — that describes my sleepless night at an event, when V and I were in Clearwater in the first weekend of June 2012.
Which also happens to be the first entry that I wrote on bloodteethandflame. 🙂
It has only been recently that I realize that that this particular reminder arrived perfectly on the day that it was due.
It’s funny how the Universe works, isn’t it?
Here is an absolutely beautiful poem that gives me *all the feelings* ❤
~~~~
” Listen, darling girl, to the words I give you now.
These boxes you try to build around Me will never contain Me –
I am more than your mind can grasp.
I will wear a thousand faces, come to you with a thousand names
if need be, if it will make you see.
We are not strangers, you and I –
why then must you keep yourself from Me?
Listen to the words whispered in your heart,
listen to the love burning through your veins,
listen to the birdsong as the sun now rises and remember Me.
I am here, as I have always been,
but you will not see Me.
I have no temples in this world but those built
in the hearts of My Lovers.
The ground is warm beneath My feet,
the wind dances through My fingers,
and I have nowhere but your hearts.
Make a home of your heart, for Me.”
By Lily of A Devoted Heart on WordPress
Sacrifice is the practice of developing the habit of giving without expectation of immediate reward,
and cultivating faith in the larger generalized reciprocity of the universe.
It requires a leap beyond our fear of scarcity, our miserliness in the face of uncertain yields,
in order to let go of a little of what we find precious so that it may be shared.
Sacrifice cultivates the discipline of sharing. It does not require that we give up everything,
but it does require that we give.
Scene: A popular restaurant where I frequently have lunch.
(I am looking at the menu, and I realize much to my dismay that the restaurant no longer offers the version of chicken sandwich that I love.)
Me: (dismayed at the lack of my favorite chicken sandwich.)
L: But look! There’s a new version of your chicken sandwich.
Me: I don’t want to try that new sandwich. What if… I hate it?
L: Well. Have you ever considered what if… you love it?
<trolls>Oh no…you just might! <trolls>
So. I suggest that you try that sandwich.
Me: I might.
L: You should. *grins*
Me: (orders the sandwich)
L: ….
Me: OK. I think…I think I love it.
L: *eyeroll* This is… My not-surprised face.
~~~Later~~~
Me: Hopefully, in my next life, I’ll be more easygoing and cheerful.
L: Tell Me why you couldn’t be more easygoing and cheerful in this life.
Me: It’s too late.
L: It’s never too late to decide to be happy.
~~~
So, this seems to have become a thing.
‘Hypothetical chicken sandwich’ seems to be our conversational shorthand for a moment when I refuse to adapt or choose to fight an inevitable change:
So, as I mentioned a post or two ago, I have been working on several projects.
I have been making jewelry that mostly consists of beadwork and wire-wrapping.
I began last summer making necklaces and ankle bracelets, simply because I found that the process has become quite a meditative and calming activity for me.
I’ve made several pieces now, mostly for myself, as devotional jewelry, because most of the devotional jewelry that I’d purchased from retail was beginning to fall apart.
As well, I have been wearing an ankle bracelet 24/7 * for several years now, and I have found through experience that a lot of ankle bracelets (whether purchased retail or hand made by me) aren’t sturdy enough for such constant wear…or at least, the clasps aren’t. I’m still trying to work out a means of clasp attachment – or a clasp/attachment combination – that will hold for longer than four months. I’m getting there.
On the other hand, I switch out my necklaces a lot more often. I have made several pieces each that are dedicated to specific Gods, and so I often wear those necklaces for shorter periods of time. I might just phase out some of my older (retail purchased) pieces in favor of wearing exclusively handmade ones.
And, of course, there are times when I make something quick, thinking that I might wear it, and then I get the distinct impression that Someone likes it so much that I’ll end up just leaving it on Their altar…
…as is the case here.
The beading cord is recycled hemp, which I’m not familiar working with, and thus the attachment point for this toggle clasp is probably not sturdy enough for wearing for any length of time anyway.
But I have come up with other ideas to expand upon this design, as I really love the earth-toned color scheme.
*Loki seems to appreciate that I have been wearing an ankle bracelet which has a design/color scheme that honors Him and His families.
~~~
I’ve also been working on an embroidery project that features all the Futhark runes.
When it is finished, I will be sure to post a picture of it, as it has taken me a while. Certain runes seem to be a lot more difficult for me to stitch than others, and my perfectionist tendencies aren’t serving me so well in that department.
But as it is with beading, I find embroidery a very satisfying and meditative devotional activity. I am guessing that there might not be too many people in this world who enjoy embroidering their altar cloths as much as I do, but I enjoy it very much.
I probably should switch out my altar cloths more often, or likewise, create more layers on the altars to showcase the ones I have finished.
I usually have one to three unfinished cloths at any given time, so I definitely have an altar cloth embroidery addiction, at the very least. Ahem.
~~~
And finally, drawing.
I was puttering around DeviantArt the other day, and I realized that it has now been 3 years that I have had an account there, and yet I have never submitted any artwork. Still.
(Still, a year or more after saying that I would.)
So, I was having a conversation – no, more like an argument, honestly – with an artist friend of mine yesterday. In the course of our heated discussion, my artist-friend gave me all kinds of grief in regards to my obvious procrastination/aversion towards actually posting artwork, which led to his calling me out in his frustration, in a very Loki-esque manner:
You know what, Heathir?
You need to stop talking about doing, and…f***ing DO.
You need to either shit or get off the pot.
And it was a small thing, such a small thing, my not posting any artwork, you know.
I don’t know what I have been waiting for these past three years. I’ve never had any excuse whatsoever not to post artwork…but I kept hemming and hawing, anyway.
And there was absolutely no reason to be afraid.
So, as soon as I got off the phone with him, I went to DeviantArt, scanned, and finally posted some artwork.
And the more that I scanned, the more that I wished that I’d keep my artwork in one place in a more organized fashion.
I scanned six pages from my sketch-book. I started to wonder where I’d put some of the other sketches that I had done last summer. I began looking through my notebooks, looking specifically for my vulture sketches, and all those face and figure studies that I did last month.
I couldn’t find a lot of what I was thinking to post on DeviantArt because I have been so disorganized in storing my artwork. *sigh*
But, there’s actually artwork there now.
(There should be more, but I learned that my scanner doesn’t pick up my graphite sketches as well as I would have liked. I’ll take that as a sign that I need to draw more confidently, ie; press down a little harder with the pencils, so the scanner will pick up the lines.)
In related news, I did a few more face studies, and one figure study yesterday in preparation for a t-shirt silkscreen project that I have been putting together:
(Figure study #1: I am pleased with the leanness of the body, but I’m not as pleased with the face as much. The eyes are fair to good (right eye is clear, left is not because of erasures), and I like the slightly raised eyebrow, but the mouth, nose, and facial hair need work. And I realize that the hair on the head is all wrong.)
(Face study #1: I love the hair, and even though it’s shorter than intended, I like the flow. I like the left eye; too many erasures are muddying up the right eye, but the eye placement looks good to me. The nose seems wrong somehow, and the mouth seems a bit too wide/too stiff of an expression. Overall, He looks older than I intended, as well.)
(Face Study #2: Facial feature placement seems good, but He still looks older than I intended. Nose is better, and mouth is better. Tried to keep the raised eyebrow.)
(Face Study #3: Most of the time, I look at several photos of actual people and study their faces, and practice drawing the parts of the face several times before incorporating the details of several faces while I’m drawing one face. This was a total freehand in that this face came together all at once, rather than incorporating the various details of several faces from studying photos. This is the last, and oddly enough, the most simple face of the three that I drew. I know that this one still needs work, but I really like that He doesn’t look so…middle-aged as He did in the other ones. )
Hail Loki, Fair of Face ❤
~~~
The past few days have been so incredibly stressful/awful/what-have you.
This past Sunday being Mother’s Day did not help. (For some context on that, you can read some here.)
And again, I am aware that some of it is my own damned fault…and yet some of it is not.
But I am reminded that only I can change myself, and only I can change my attitude about what’s been happening.
I cannot change anyone else, nor can I change their attitude.
But nonetheless, whenever I have the sort of time that I have been having – a time which seems damned near insurmountable some days – I get this song as a reminder:
And following that, I usually get the Universal poke to the head from Him, thusly:
