Sometimes you have to wait in the dark For what seems like forever Stuck Certain no progress is being made, not even a little growth Nothing seems alive You, least of all It doesn’t even feel like waiting, truth be told, since waiting implies an end in sight — and you haven’t seen one of those in ages. You’re sure you’ve been abandoned Forgotten It seems as though your own soul may have deserted you But then one day A day you didn’t think would come — The smallest of cracks appears Then the crack turns into an opening Then the opening a breaking free. Maybe it was the way the sun hit, or how the rain fell or how the planets aligned or maybe something deep within you simply knew: NOW. It’s not just that you’ve come back to life, though You’re different. The life within you feels humbler, since you know you know less now. And more grounded, since your roots were silently growing deep all this time. You understand now, there was something happening, something profound in that slow and tedious germination. It’s a miracle, isn’t it? How even in the longest and most brutal of winters thousands of seeds are plotting a most magnificent spring.~
When I logged into my laptop, with coffee in hand, Facebook reminded me how three years ago today, my husband, my youngest son and I flew home to Massachusetts.
~~~
Two weeks before, we’d gotten that terrible phone call.
They’d said you’d gone unconscious.
They’d said that you’d had a stroke.
We prayed so hard through the days between
You squeezing your mother’s hand suddenly
And when they’d said you had a long road of rehabilitation ahead of you.
We had so much hope that you’d come through this somehow.
~~~
Though what I remember most was sitting with you in the backyard on that warm summer day in July 2014.
We were listening to Amy Winehouse, drinking whiskey, and talking about heartbreak.
(I mean, what a cliche, right?)
But what I remember most was how easily I had slipped into sharing details with you about my most recent hurts, the latest in the litany of pain that marked that horribly emotional, difficult summer.
But that was you – you were always so open, so easy to talk to, to laugh with, and to just be. You listened and allowed me to just be what I was that summer, which was probably sad, and maybe even more than a bit emotionally broken.
And I will never forget what you said to me that day, while I wallowed in my emotions.
You said:
I don’t know how I’m gonna help, but I wanna help. I’m hearin’ ya and I want ya to know I’m here for ya. I wanna tell ya, I’m here. I’m gonna be here for ya. I wanna help ya figure this all out. Always. I’m here. I’m here for ya.
And that was so you. You always had the blunt honesty to admit to me that you didn’t know what you could do to help me, but you offered me your presence, with a standing offer to be there to help me figure it all out.
Well, Bobby I never did figure it all out, but you listened, and you were there, and that was really what I needed. It did help me, you did help me. I will always be grateful for that, for your presence, and for your help.
“I am sharing these beautiful images and names of Ukrainian goddesses to ask that we join with others in prayers of peace and protection and sovereignty for Ukraine and her people. May the tyrants fall on their own swords.”
“You can’t help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn’t spell it right; but spelling isn’t everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn’t count.” – WinniethePooh
When I was a kid, I was told that the day of the week that you were born becomes your ‘lucky’ day. So, that being said, my mom often told me that I was born on a Thursday – so, for years, I thought my lucky day was Thursday. It sure felt like it – perhaps because I believed in it for so long.
But…later on, thanks to Google, I found out that I was actually born on a Wednesday.
I never expected that, since according to that nursery rhyme, Wednesday’s child is (supposedly) full of woe.
Ouch. That’s not nice.
Though I will admit that both of my children – even though they were born 10 years apart – were also born on a Wednesday.
We are a woeful bunch, eh?
So, has Wednesday been any luckier for me than Thursday was?
Well I’ve never noticed much of a difference honestly, but there you have it.
Oh! And according to Google, the day associated with Aries (that’s my zodiac sign) is…Tuesday 樂 Never been a fan of Tuesday tho.
bloodteethandflame 