bloodteethandflame

A life in threes

Tag: not fit for human interaction

A dark and scary place.

It has been a dark and scary place within my head these past few days.

It’s quite possible that I may be depressed, or perhaps, I am manic.

Either way, I have been stubborn and negative with those I love, and that has been especially true of my actions towards others today.

And for that, I am sorry.

Then, this image came across my Facebook feed:

Child3

This sculpture was created by Ukrainian artist Alexander Milov for Burning Man.

The Wealth of Wisdom on Instagram posted this description:

“One of the most powerful art pieces from Burning Man: A sculpture of two adults after a disagreement, sitting with their backs to each other.   Yet, the inner child in both of them simply wants to connect.  Age has many beautiful gifts but one we could live without is the pride and resentment that we hold onto when have conflicts with others. The forgiving free spirit of children is our true nature.  Remember this when you feel stubborn.”

Here are the artist’s words concerning his powerful piece:

“It demonstrates a conflict between a man and a woman as well as the outer and inner expression of human nature. Their inner selves are executed in the form of transparent children, who are holding out their hands through the grating. As it’s getting dark (night falls) the children start to shine. This shining is a symbol of purity and sincerity that brings people together and gives a chance of making up when the dark time arrives.”

ukrainian-sculpture-burning-man-love-alexander-milov-1

 

I took this as a message from the Universe, reminding me to be more mindful of my words and my actions towards others.

Today was not a good day.

I was hurting, and in response, I allowed my emotions to direct my words and fuel my actions.

I hurt others today.

I’m sorry to those I hurt today.  While I cannot undo the damage that I have done, I am trying to forgive myself and face tomorrow more mindfully.

I can only hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

 

A confession.

I would like to admit that I have been rather antisocial lately.

One might even go as far as to say that I am on the edge of being too irritable for human interaction specifically.

(Some might be tempted to blame that super-moon in Pisces that just occurred.  I remember reading something yesterday about how a ‘moon in Pisces’ causes increased emotional tension and whatnot.  Color me not surprised.)

That would go a long way in explaining why I’ve found myself in these conversations with others that occur despite the fact that I have been desperately trying to avoid conversation, much less interaction lately.

Hel, it is more than likely that I have been avoiding interactions with others so that I may avoid the possibility of conflict and/or tension.

And it is exactly at times like these

He will often say things  just to bait me into verbal sparring.

But this time He did it slyly with a compliment.

Me:  (says knee-jerk cranky, judgmental thing concerning politics)

Him: Wow.  That’s…interesting and a bit extreme.  Do you care to explain your position?

Me: No.  I’m cranky.  Too irritated to explain.  I’m just being judgmental. *flushes a little, looks away*

Him: Well, Heathir, if I were to judge you like that, then I would just have to…. love you for everything you do.

Me: Wait.  What?

(Meanwhile, whilst typing this out, Autocorrect kept changing the above text to ‘ I would just have to… fuck you for everything you do‘ O.o)

Mindfsckery…with compliments, no less.