This meme tile just came across my social media feed:
Usually this would not mean much because I will admit that I’ve been scrolling through social media much more often than is usual for me lately…
But what really made me sit up and take notice was that
upon reading its message
I immediately and distinctly felt
You
As a sensation of nearly imperceptible fingers
brushing across the nape of my neck
a singular awareness of You, whispering
Look!
Look.
Hail Loki ❤️
Dver wrote a great post about a way to look at relationships with the Gods which gave me lots of food for thought.
You see, I’ve been going through a bit of a weird emotional patch.
I’ve been feeling disconnected from everything.
When I read of how Dver writes of her relationships with Gods in regards to her devotional practice, what I found interesting is that she generally splits them into two groups: Gods whom she loves and she works with closely/offers to regularly — and Gods whom she loves simply for Their existence.
She writes:
“There are some gods I love – have loved for decades, even – and have never had a single, personal, direct experience with. I don’t know if I’m on Their radar at all. I don’t need to be. It’s enough to know Them even a little bit, and to honor Them. I don’t ask Them for anything, typically. Maybe I just keep an image of Them somewhere, make an offering now and then, read Their stories, and appreciate Their existence. That’s all it needs to be.”
Interestingly, this concept intertwines with a discussion of ego – and how removing oneself from the equation of love was liberating, as love given with the desire for reciprocation was simply ego…and how to love simply for the basis of loving because of the other’s existence was the most profound sort of love, and therefore the sort of love to be sought when speaking of the Gods, i.e the Gods should be loved without the (ego’s) expectation of reciprocation or interaction.
But by the same token, Dver admits to believing that the Gods that she serves daily in her practice do love her in Their way (as love is at its core and is understood to be an energetic act directed towards another/what is outside of the self) but that to serve in exchange for being loved is neither her goal nor her intent.
And I found that profoundly helpful as I navigate my feelings about Loki and Odin today: up until that moment of understanding, I would have said that what is going on with me is that They both feel like old friends that I haven’t seen or interacted with in a while.
Or as the Hávamál would say, I have allowed weeds and high grass to grow over the path to my friends’ home:
…if you have a friend,
and you trust him,
go and visit him often.
Weeds and high grass
will grow on a path
that nobody travels.
Stanza 119, trans. by Jackson Crawford
So, in that regard, I’ve been feeling guilty and sad.
So I asked myself, what would it feel like to love them without any expectation of Their presence or interaction?
Which leads me to this other personal bit: a new Lokean in one of my groups is asking how one can become so close to Loki that He would ‘show up’ without being called on/summoned?
Several folks responded that Loki shows up for them only when He isn’t being sought out, and that it was a well-known secret that Gods do show up if you think of Them enough, and Loki especially; Loki will eventually show up… the keyword being eventually.
As for me, I am going to work on loving Them simply for being/existing and see how that goes.
I’m not adverse to simply being the devotee for a while. And I think about
Love.
Just love.
Let it flow out of you unimpeded.
And I will be there.
And you will know.
~~
You might be wondering: Why offer Loki coffee as opposed to something else?
The answer is simple – I believe that the Gods appreciate anything offered to Them in the spirit of joy.
And since I enjoy a good cup of coffee every morning, Loki enjoys a cup of coffee right along with me.
Though I will admit that Loki’s cup of coffee is a little bit different than mine, for various reasons, of which I will explain below.
~~~
There is much magic to be found in everyday activities as well as there are magickal properties associated with many common foods, drinks and spices that you may already have in your kitchen, such as
COFFEE: Many folks drink (and appreciate!) coffee for its caffeine kick, but did you know that coffee is a substance that can also be used in summoning and attraction magick? An offering of coffee can be given to spirits and Deities to summon/attract Their attention and encourage spiritual interaction.
As well, MILK (and its associate, CREAM) is one of the best ingredients for spells used to summon nurturing energy into a working, and its addition to an offering attracts prosperity, healing and protection. In some cultures, such as in India and the Middle East, milk is offered to Deity if one seeks to invite Divine consciousness into one’s life.
As one might suspect, adding SUGAR to an offering can be used to ‘sweeten up’ any magickal effects, and adds to the attraction factor. (CINNAMON can be added to bring quick luck and sharpen communication between the giver and the receiver, especially if requests are being made.)
VANILLA can be added to further ‘sweeten’ and inspire/signify love and romantic feelings. As well, vanilla can be used to engender feelings of security and foster honesty between two parties (which again, is super helpful if I have a question or a request to make!)
And finally, WHISKEY has magickal properties as well, and I add a bit of it to most of my daily coffee offerings to Loki as whiskey is an offering that the Anglo-Saxons believed drew people together in friendship and eased communication between beloved friends.
After adding some (and sometimes all) of the above ingredients to the cup, I stir it all up clockwise, while saying His name over the cup: Loki, this is for You…
(Next, if necessary, I’ll ask a question, or make a request.)
And then, as with any ritual, I end this offering ritual with my thanks and gratitude as I place it on His altar
So there you have it, my daily offering to Loki is a cup of coffee full of magickal intent!
^^ So.
The above pretty much describes the month of July 2019 for me – in a nutshell.
How convenient, eh?
To be clear, yeah – my mental illness was the main force behind my lack of participation – and general executive dysfunction – during this year’s ‘Month for Loki’
And I’ll be honest, I’ve felt foolish each time I’ve logged in over the past 25 days… to see my first post of the month.. 2nd, 3rd, 4th…
And then…nothing.
I recall being so full of excitement on July 1st – promoting this thing that I’d done for the past 7 years! – but then feeling entirely unable to bring myself to writing much of anything.
Oh well.
Such as it is.
Goodbye July.
Last night I dreamt of making statues of a olive skinned goddess who wore purple and green and blue clothing.
Her headdress was blue – with Her dark hair peeking out from beneath Her headdress – and I recall purple and green ‘stripes’ or mottled batik designs on her clothing.
In the dream, I was supposed to bring her an offering of some sort.
I remember she seemed friendly with dark eyes and a calm smile.
She was patient.
She was associated with dogs and roads and the nighttime sky, especially stars.
****
When I woke up and Googled ‘Goddess associated with the night, roads and dogs’ — I came up with Hecate.
Hmm.
Welcome to the first day of July!*
So here I am again, facing another July with an ever-evolving devotional practice that includes Loki… and Odin.
To that end, a week or so ago, I ordered a pair of gorgeous prayer cards from Wyrd Curiosities on Etsy so you can imagine my delight when they were delivered this morning — just in time for the first of the month:
While Wyrd Curiosities sells several different prayer cards for Loki, I’d chosen this particular one mostly because it features Grace Palmer’s beautiful artwork as well as including one of my favorite prayers to Loki, written by F. Arismendi:
Lovely.
As well, I was delighted to see that the two cards I’d purchased were enclosed within a gorgeous notecard created by Dionysian Artist, featuring another stunning portrayal of Loki by Wayne McMillan…so that was an unexpected but pleasant surprise ❤
~~~
*As you may know, many Lokeans around the country celebrate the month of July by writing; that’s 30 days of devotional posts for Loki.
This blog is not dead.
However, my devotional practice has definitely changed, as nearly six months ago, I started working with Odin too:
(Altar figures (l-r) Loki, Odin, ceramic, by artisan Dmitriy Kushnir from The Slavic Way on Etsy)
But maybe I am not.
As it has occurred to me that perhaps what I believe to be Odin could be simply another face of Loki….
But damned if it doesn’t feel different.
I love Brene Brown…even when she is throwing out some hard truths.
So you can gather what I am talking about, you might want to watch the video.
Y’see, I , too, am a ‘blamer.’
It’s true of me that when something bad happens, my first thought is often whose fault is this? – and, more often than not, I twist it in my head until I’ve found a reason for whatever happened.
I need to know why. I am a person that needs to know why.
Even if -more often than not – I end up blaming myself for whatever it is that happened in some way.
Yeah. I know that that’s unhealthy.
Yep, I thought that that was holding myself accountable.*
This mindfulness and this desire to hold myself accountable for myself and my reactions to bad things happening is often the way that my thoughts go. And I’ve had enough therapy to know that I’m only doing half the work, too, when I stop and actually think about it.
Why is it only half the work?
Because the full work would be the realization and implementation of the fact that some bad things happen because they are random. Sometimes there is no reason.
Yes, it’s true that sometimes bad things happen because someone wasn’t mindful of themselves or others – and I include myself in that – and rash decisions get made. Things get broken, or feelings get hurt, or what have you, and often emotions fuel those decisions.
But the key is – the process of thinking that there has to be reason somewhere. That there has to be a reason, there has to be a fault. And that there has to be this endless overthinking and wasting of time and resources trying to figure out why something is, why something happened, or what led to this or that result.
As Brown points out, the fault-finding and blame is a discharge of discomfort and a desire for control of the situation, including getting control of one’s emotions and reactions.
And that gets me to thinking about my zen Buddhist therapist who speaks a continuous refrain of how I need to work on letting shit go, learning that the only person one can control is oneself and one’s reactions to the world, and the constant reminder that the only moment is the present moment. He talks endlessly of the fact that the present is the only moment in which we can live, and how when one has realized this, and one focuses on mindfulness and control of oneself in the present moment, only then can one create inner peace and happiness.
Oh yes, it gives me a headache sometimes…this zen business. The letting go, the reactive vs. proactive paradigm, the mindfulness — so much jargon. I cannot deny that this all feels exhausting sometimes, and I’ll admit that I fall back upon ingrained reactive habits and value judgments, and and and….*sigh*
I wallow in self-blame, another waste of time.
So.
Yes.
I seek control.
But the only control I seek in the end is self-control.
~~~
*This video opens my eyes to the mistake I’ve made concerning what accountability is.
bloodteethandflame 