There is nothing wrong, and yet I have been rather socially-avoidant today, just fumbling through the hours.
But then a notification came through my email: an old acquaintance of mine wrote a post on zir blog little while ago, and damned if it didn’t give me a bittersweet feeling of nostalgia:
You see, I too, have had Him come to me as Peter Pan, and yet oddly enough, I was an adult – with adult responsibilities such as a job, bills to pay, and a child of my own – so I didn’t understand the meaning of His usage of that particular face during His visitation at that time.
I believe that it was a sign, a marker of sorts – meant to remind me of the part of me I hid, that part that I never really allowed to be- the part of me I’d chosen to tuck away from my everyday awareness.
Perhaps it is a cliche – the playful attitude, the sense of wonder – but I will not deny its importance.
I was a serious child with a vivid imagination and if anything, I’d always thought someday, I would come back to that part, I would allow myself one day…
To remember the boy who waited at the edge of those bad dreams…
The young man who lived in the woods
whose face I drew incessantly
whom I was half in love with
before I even could have known what love was.
As He was – and yet He was not – Peter Pan, but it was not until I realized much later that the face of Peter Pan was a convenient and rather apt metaphor for what I had pushed away from myself.
Come find Me, He said.
You know where.