bloodteethandflame

A life in threes

Category: pandoramancy

Dancing.

A Facebook friend posted this video in my feed today:

And it triggered a lovely memory that I have that is related to this song.

~~~

In April 2015, I went to small weekend-long Pagan sexuality event called Body Magick.

Though I attended by myself, I quickly got the impression that this event was geared towards couples.

I was one of only three other ‘singles’ that attended that weekend.

One of these singles – an older man named Kevin – left before the end of the first day when it became clear to him that Body Magick was not a ‘kinky poly swingers’ event that he’d been assuming that it would be.  (I think the event organizers were somewhat relieved that he left on his own, as his attitude that colored the ‘first impression’ that he made during the introductory circle rubbed several folks in all the wrong ways.)

The other single – a young woman – seemed guarded and cautious.  Though we did converse several times — simply for the fact that we were likely the only attendees with insomnia in the campsite who weren’t actively entertaining/engaging a partner in the late hours of Friday night into the wee hours of Saturday morning – I didn’t find out that much about her.  She told me how she had recently experienced a rather lengthy and contentious divorce, and she sought to attend the event  simply to recover herself and get back her spiritual bearings.

And then, there was me.  Alone, and perhaps a bit lonely.  (My husband – a non-Pagan – had chosen to stay home that weekend, and he had some prior work commitments, as well.)

~~~

But I must say – even though everyone I came in contact with was friendly, the event rituals were well-done, and the energy flow was welcoming and pleasant – I could not shake that dull achy feeling of being at loose ends throughout my weekend at Body Magick.

~~~

So there I was, on Sunday morning, sitting in a lawn chair outside the ‘mess hall’ with a belly full of breakfast pancakes, listening to music on my iPhone.

My earbuds had somehow become damaged, so I decided to listen to my Loki playlist on low volume, as I waited for my husband to pick me up.

As he wasn’t set to arrive for over an hour, I felt like I had some time to kill, so I half-dozed/meditated in the overly-bright April sunlight, with my iPhone in my lap.

And then this song came on.

The song had played about halfway through when suddenly I was shaken out of my reverie by a friendly voice.

What is this song?  I love this song.

I opened my eyes, and I looked up to see a slight, older woman standing in front of me.  She was smiling.

The sun was behind her, so I was grateful for the shade she created.  I returned her smile.  I couldn’t help it.

It’s Walk the Moon, I replied.  It’s called, Shut up and Dance.

She laughed, Would you mind playing that from the beginning?

So I clicked back, and she settled down beside my chair, to listen.  Thank you so much, she whispered.

I watched as she closed her eyes, and she smiled broadly as she listened, her face upturned towards the sunlight.

Again, the song reached the half-way point, and another person – a young woman, her arms loaded with camping gear – walked past.  I guess she had been on the way to loading up her car.

Hey!  I know that song! she blurted out, stopping short in front of us.

She dropped her heavy gear-bags at my feet with satisfied sigh, as if relieved for the sudden excuse to take a break.

She turned toward the woman on the ground, nudging her.  Don’t you just love this song? she burbled.

The older woman opened one eye: Yes, she grinned broadly, looking up.  They knew each other, so the older woman stood up to greet her with a hug.

And the young woman, unburdened by her gear, warmly embraced her friend.

After a few moments, they broke from their embrace,  and the young woman started to sway.

Won’t you play it again, please, the young woman turned toward me, insistently, I feel like dancing!

OOh, dancing sounds like a great idea, the older women agreed.

So I did.

And I watched as they danced, the movement of their bodies mirroring each other.  I admired the ease and joy of their dance – they seemed entirely unself-conscious and comfortable in their bodies as they were taken up by the rhythms of the song.

Then, they began to sing.

They both looked at me.

Doesn’t this song just make you want to dance? they asked me, during the first instrumental bridge.

The older woman motioned towards me, welcoming me to join them.

I demurred, too shy to dance.

But I did sing along with them.

Suddenly, these two women dancing and our combined singing drew the attention of several other campers on the way to loading their cars.

Next thing you know, a loose half-circle had formed right there in front of me.

Soon enough there was a crowd of twenty or so happy people dancing, singing, enjoying this song, in a spontaneous swirl of swaying color, sound, movement…and laughter.

And I must have played that song four more times in its entirety before our impromptu dance party ended.

 

And I honestly believe that Loki was pleased.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Am.

Thanks to  Karlesha Silverros for introducing me to this rather Lokean song ❤

 

Somewhere.

Though there are other versions of this song – namely that the song was originally written by Keane –  this version by Lily Allen is my favorite version because of the sweet animation that is this video.

~~~

I can be in the shittiest, saddest mood

  – as I have been lately –

     but I find it comforting, if not downright soothing to watch this amazing ‘animation process’ video.

Perhaps it is the combination of that lovely process animation along with Lily’s lilting voice.

The words, the melody, the forest/nature imagery – both within the lyrics and through the animation – resonate deeply with something in my soul:

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I’m getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you’re gonna let me in
I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I’ve been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I’m getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you’re gonna let me in
I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don’t we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don’t we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I’m getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you’re gonna let me in
I’m getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don’t we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don’t we go?
So why don’t we go?

This could be the end of everything
So why don’t we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?

~~~

I don’t know, but every time I need a little lift to my spirits, I listen/watch this video.

It makes me think of Freyr.

Crash…into me.

You’ve got your ball
you’ve got your chain
tied to me tight tie me up again
who’s got their claws
in you my friend
Into your heart I’ll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
and sweet you roll
Lost for you I’m so lost for you

You come crash into me
And I come into you
I come into you
In a boys dream
In a boys dream

Touch your lips just so I know
In your eyes, love, it glows so
I’m bare boned and crazy for you
When you come crash
into me, baby
And I come into you
In a boys dream
In a boys dream

If I’ve gone overboard
Then I’m begging you
to forgive me
in my haste
When I’m holding you so girl
close to me

Oh and you come crash
into me, baby
And I come into you
Hike up your skirt a little more
and show the world to me
Hike up your skirt a little more
and show your world to me
In a boys dream.. In a boys dream

Oh I watch you there
through the window
And I stare at you
You wear nothing but you
wear it so well
tied up and twisted
the way I’d like to be
For you, for me, come crash
into me

A small reminder.

I was walking my dog this morning, and I was thinking about Mr. L, and this little bit o’pandoramancy came up:

(Though, if I had to pinpoint it, I’d say that this is more what I would say to Him; not the other way ’round; but the point is taken <3)

 

I Am.

It’s been quite an emotional rollercoaster for me today.

  • Relationship issues.
  • Devotional issues.
  • Devotional relationship issues.  (Though in the interest of trying to remain positive hasn’t been all bad…it simply involves some work about which I’ve been hesitant to finish, and the overwhelming sense of being emotionally drained in doing it.)

Upside, I got a good walk in lovely cool weather.  Downside, getting caught in a torrential downpour and now I feel generally achy.

Upside, I did enjoy a lovely text conversation with a dear friend today, and it meant so much to me…you don’t even know 🙂  Downside, none 🙂

 

I think that this is an apt song for today.  Though its set in a minor key, the message strikes me as positive overall — which was so like the day itself:

Allow Me.

I was thinking about the fact that Voodoo Music Fest in New Orleans is about 53 days away.

So I was screwing around on the internet, listening to music and watching videos and I came across this*

 

Allow me to be Frank, He said.

~~~

* From Frank Turner’s new album aptly titled album, Positive Songs for Negative People

If that’s not an album that I can get behind, I don’t know what is. 😉

 

Song for You

I had just returned from walking my dog, and I sat down at the computer to check the Book of Faces to see that Lori – friend of mine – posted a link to this video:

Now, Lori might not know how much I have always loved the original of this song, as it was penned by Leon Russell, but to realize that there’s a version sung by Ray Charles makes it even sweeter.

Thank you, Lori.

You’ve no idea how much I love – and needed – to hear such sweetness today.

Month for Loki, Day 29: Schism

Well, here we are, almost the end of July.

There were some posts that I’d meant to write that I never gotten around to actually finish writing much less posting, such as

* That much promised post on polyamory and jealousy that I’d left and come back to so often that its length has grown to over a dozen handwritten pages in my notebook.  The other day, I joked with a friend that if I ever cut it down enough to post it in its entirety, I’m still going to title it TL;DR

* A post concerning reluctance, runes, and shadow work.

and

*A requested follow-up concerning devotional tattoos.

As well, there were posts that I finished writing but I could not bring myself to post for various reasons.  These still sit in a digital folder on the hard drive, concerning:

* A particular example of how I often get pushed out of my comfort zones.  This was also by request.

* A personal background post about a spiritual re- connection that I’d made in April 2008 that followed the near-death experience of a family member.

* A poem of heiti and slippery metaphors.

One could say that I didn’t intend to post about this, but when I consider the particular requests and topics with which I’d begun the month, this topic is cake* in comparison.

What I’m about to write about is loads more pleasant and easier to discuss that some of the other requests.

~~~

Speaking of requests, I have started working on a series of drawings which are intended preparation for a much bigger project.

I love to draw, and I have been getting a lot of sketching practice, mostly with charcoals, pencil, and ink.

I was content to just keep on with the pencil sketches.  Patterns started developing with my sketching, and I even started putting aside the sketches that I was more than slightly pleased with to post on my DeviantArt account.

As you may have read in one of my earlier blog posts this month, I’ve long had a preference for drawing Loki.    About a year ago, this began to extend towards drawing His family too – I started drawing Angrboda, Hela, Fenrir, Sigyn,  and Sleipnir.  Some of my better drawings of these can be seen on my DA account.

But then I started noticing some synchronicity in what was coming up whenever I was working on new face and body studies to draw.

I’m a pretty avid people-watcher, and I started seeing a lot of ‘odd couplings’ during my walks:

– I’ve had several sightings of a pair of construction workers –  a much older man with a longish greying beard and a middle-aged redhead – working at the ever-increasing construction site that has sprung up two blocks from my home. (With the extension being added to an existing hospital, and a huge new entertainment complex being built all within a mile of my house, you can imagine that I may see a lot of construction workers, but still…)

– A large grey-black fluffy wolf-like dog being pursued by several children (which reminded me of this)

childreleasesfenrir

(above comic created by JellyVampire on DeviantArt.)

– A tall man walking along the sidewalk, who stopped me, and asked to pet my dog.  He had the most interesting light brown eyes that I’d ever seen.  His eyes appeared to be almost gold.

And then the dream-visual related to this song:

…which got me to thinking about Odin and Loki catching sight of each other on the huge plain at Vigrid where Ragnarok will be fought…

And I have been visualizing that scene every time I hear Schism ever since

And for some reason, this project, this vision is growing into more than a sketch.

Perhaps it will become a painting.

Not that I am well-versed in painting, but I’ll let you know how it goes.