bloodteethandflame

A life in threes

Tag: i believe in pandoramancy

Amazed.

~~~

Thank You, my Beloved.

For everything

Today and Always

Come break me down.

 

Today is Wednesday.

Out on my walk today, I’d been having thoughts about Mr. Wednesday.

And two songs immediately came up on shuffle from my playlist

One after the other

Both are by Fever Ray:

and

Emotional convolution.

This week has been difficult, and full of complex emotions, especially regarding my closest relationships.

Upon leaving the house this morning, this song was the first to come up:

…which struck me as a clue-by-four concerning one of my particularly thorny yet relevant relationship issues.

After some deep breaths, I realized that I might as well let the song play through.  It’s not like my issues have ever gone away simply because I’ve chosen to ignore them.

(I can only do that for so long, no thanks to pandoramancy.)

But there is something to be said for Meg Myers’ raw howl in the final chorus, as if she has become aware of the same unavoidable truth as I have.

But I embrace it.

 

He is in my heart…

and my head…

even though that truth rattles me to the core today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s the house telling you to close your eyes.

While I was out walking today, this song – by a relatively new band, Of Monsters and Men – came up on my YouTube recommendations:

 

 

Those lovely, haunting female vocals belong to Nanna Bryndís Hilmarsdóttir, and the male vocals are from guitarist/singer, Ragnar  þórhallsson.

 

And what I discovered is that Of Monsters and Men hail from Iceland…and they have just started touring the US.

They are quickly becoming known for having a penchant for writing story-songs (full of jaunty, complex rhythms) which are sometimes sung in duets between Nanna and Ragnar, as showcased here.

~~~

There is a lot in this song that I can relate to…or at least a lot in there that is similar to my own present experience that I found myself relating to this morning.

Especially in the ‘little talks’ that I’ve been having between my insecurities and my fears that have led my brain into many a sleepless night.

 

 

 

This is what I meant to share on my Facebook wall:

From the Elephant Love & Relationships page:

“And I will love some of you with some of me, and then all of you with all of me, if you let me and if I let you, as we get to know. And I hope we each have the honor and pleasure to feel sad, together, and joy, together, and lust, together…and lunch on the lawn at Farmers’ Market, together. I like dumplings with too much hot sauce.”

Join, https://www.facebook.com/thingsiwouldliketodowithyou, get the book when it releases.”

 

Now I ask you:

Who does this sound like to you?

Hmm?

I dunno…Do you?

 

It is truly the Subtlesauce that sings!

 

So here goes….

Now won’t  you sing *that* fscking song with me?

Alll of mee loves all of yooouuu…

 

 

*facepalm*

 
*sigh*

Definitely.

To put it bluntly, I have been having a rough time as of late.

I tried posting about it, but for some reason, WordPress kept erroring out, so here goes another post.

 

We will see what happens.

I sense that there’s another complete overhaul of my life coming.

~~~

I woke up this morning with an earworm, that if nothing else, shows me to be a child of the 80’s:

 

(And just to note, it’s more like ‘at 4:00 AM’ rather than ‘at the midnight hour’ — but other than that, most things about this experience are about the same, relatively speaking.)

~~~

 

Goodbye July: Leaving this final thought

So today is August 1st, and July 2014 was quite an intense month for me personally and emotionally, even if I didn’t blog about it as frequently as I’d intended.

It was definitely a Month for Loki, and it definitely involved several major lessons in my life.

And I woke up this morning with this song stuck in my head, only to find that Epix was playing Pink’s concert from February 2013, and this song was one of her encores:

 

So, with that in mind, I leave July

 

and begin August with a final thought

 

that no matter what happens, I must not forget —

 

Pretty, pretty please, don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re less than fucking perfect
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing, you’re fucking perfect to me

 

~~~

Point taken, Sir ❤

 

Month for Loki, Day 12: Lightning

I walked to the grocery store today, to pick up something for dinner.

It had begun to rain shortly before I left, so I was unusually prepared for once, and I brought my umbrella.

So there I was walking under my umbrella, listening to my iPod, and thinking about what sort of meat that I should buy for dinner…

And next thing I know, I do believe that I came extremely close to being struck by lightning.

 
I was listening to Marilyn Manson’s cover of ‘Personal Jesus’* on my iPod —

 

and right at that final chorus of Reach out and touch faith

 

–I saw a bright flash and I felt a brief electric shock that made my hand go numb.

I dropped my umbrella, frightened, and looked up as I heard the after-rumble.

 

 

Right then, Led Zeppelin’s ‘Immigrant Song’ began to play on my iPod.

 

All right-y then.

 

Hail Loki ❤

Hail Thor!

and

Hail the Gods and ancestors!

 

~~~

*’Personal Jesus’ is a song that I have long associated with Loki.

‘Immigrant Song’ is a song about Vikings – and thus, I’ve found it an easy association with the Norse Gods.

Month for Loki, Day 3: Pandoramancy

Today is a simple post.

It is about a few particular songs that have haunted me this past year  — mostly through random television and radio commercials, and various ironic instances of radio pandoramancy.

The first instance featured Kelly Clarkson’s Breakaway:

My husband and I were attending a three-day weekend fetish event that was held at a pretty swank hotel, and I awakened early one morning to the chorus of this song playing loudly — as the theme to a travel commercial.

All I could think was that the chorus of the song somehow jibed with the concept of ‘breaking away’ from the mundane world, since the chorus of —

I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly
I’ll do what it takes til’ I touch the sky
And I’ll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway —

was set against a backdrop various highlights sponsored by the local tourist board  – from pristine shores edged by serene blue ocean, to majestic blue-white mountains rising from lush carpets of evergreen trees, to the sophisticated glow and bustle of the theatre and shopping district of the capital city , all peopled by smiling faces of travelers enjoying themselves in the lovely state of ____, but I just noticed the tune of a song that I’d never heard before.

And the words of that chorus rang in my head:

make a wish 

                Take a chance 

                                    Make a change

And

break

away

and I looked blearily at the clock.

4:30AM.

I fished the remote out from beneath the pillow upon which my husband was sleeping soundly, and after several irritably clumsy attempts at jabbing random buttons in the dim light, I was finally able to mute the volume.

My husband never even stirred.

Then, I rolled over, and tried desperately to go back to sleep.

But sleep would not come.

I had that fucking song as an earworm for the rest of that event.

And I saw/heard that commercial at least six times in the next two days, though it was always when I was alone, and always when I was resolutely trying not to think about it being a specific nudge toward the inevitable.

Make a change

And break away….

(I ended up JFGI once I reached home, and was able to dislodge the earworm somewhat, but it shall forever remain a definitively Lokean earworm from that day forward, for the very reason for the awful realizations that I came to during that weekend…and what fresh hell of a twist came into my life not even two weeks later.)

~~~~

Cut to a few months later, there was Sara Bareilles’ ‘Brave’….

This song was used as a theme  in a Microsoft Windows commercial…or maybe it was even for a cellphone that featured some sort of Microsoft technology.

I seem to remember arguing with V about our increasingly lack of connection, and our seeming inability to communicate as of late…and yet here was this fucking commercial suddenly blaring in the background, advertising some new aspect of communication technology.

Either way, the first time that I noticed the lyrics:

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I was actually in half-hearing the commercial, and the irony of that moment so unsettled me that I stopped me in mid-sentence.

My husband didn’t even notice.

I’d wager that he thought that my sudden silence had meant that he’d won the argument.

And, like the previous song, I hadn’t actually come across the opportunity to hear the whole song, until I was sitting in a Wendy’s having lunch one day, almost a month later.  ( I had to JFGI’d the above video, because I’d caught the tail-end of the song, because it ended just as I was sitting down to eat.  Only then, did I realize, with increasing dismay, what a spectacularly Lokean sneaky ton of bricks message that song was in its entirety.)

And would it surprise you that the song that immediately followed Brave was Jesse McCartney’s Beautiful Soul?

 

(Such an irrepressible flirt He is.)

 

~~~~

Hail Loki, Lord of Pandoramancy!