But wait, there’s more.

by beanalreasa

After writing the entry about what I did get out of my weekend (mostly), there were a few things that I didn’t get out of my weekend, as well as a few things that I realized quite late in the weekend (Sunday night/Monday morning) that I had been downright dodging/avoiding.

For one thing, V and I never did have much of the Big Conversation that I’d been planning on having with him, due to two things that I hadn’t counted upon:

1) Even though V had told his employer’s project managers that he was not available to work, conference, or take calls from Thursday, February 15th, to Monday, February 18th, clients called on him anyway, sucking up eight hours of his time on Saturday, and four hours on Sunday. It seemed that nothing could be done about it for several reasons, as everyone on the client end seemed to think that he’d honestly meant that his availability would be open for those weekend days only, rather than every and any other weekend this month. So, despite shaking my fist at the Universe a few times, I came to the realization that, maybe, I am not ready to discuss these matters, and/or he might not be ready to hear this sort of discussion as of yet. Because every time that I tried to begin talking about the subject, his phone would ring, and any time he tried to set aside his work-brain thoughts to listen to me, his phone would ring with yet another work-related distraction. (At one point, after having told him about my Loki-lookalike friend from the elevator, he suggested that I might as well find my other boots and go enjoy myself a bootblacking, because he was scheduled for a call. Again.)

2) The other thing that kept coming to the forefront was V’s obvious and pressing need to socialize. Several times, the same situation kept arising wherein he would become so distracted by the presence of others — whether they be old friends, new acquaintances, or some individual smoker standing outside looking for a light for their cigarette — that I quickly started to wonder if I was ever going to be able to get his completely undivided attention.

Well, it seems to me that the Universe said NO to that this weekend. Gods, did it ever. And oddly enough, I had an interesting dream on Monday morning that involved this very thing, causing me to consider the very excuses that I have been making in order to keep from meaningfully engaging with an Other who seeks to engage with me.

So…touche, I guess.


And the lesser, but still worth-mentioning thing that I intended to do but didn’t was to get over myself and introduce myself to Del Tashlin. I’ve been reading both of his blogs – and leaving comments here and there — for somewhat over a year or so now, so I suppose that it might be appropriate to introduce myself, lest I seem like a stalker, no…?

It seems like such a little thing doesn’t it? But yes…it’s true.

And several opportunities arose wherein I could have introduced myself, and yet, I did not. I kept promising myself, next time, next time…and yet I.Did.Not.

I was even in the elevator with him and yet I did not say a word.

What the hell, right?

So, I tell myself one word: FUSION.

Let’s hope that I keep my promise then…I will introduce myself to Del Tashlin at Fusion 2013.

There. I said it. For all of you to read. And now I have to make it happen.


who was it for?

OK, OK, that’s enough complaining.

I also wanted to point out that I won/bought something at the NCSF silent auction that was totally not for me.

I still can’t figure out why I was drawn to it so — and even though I bought/won two other items (both were things that V was wishing for me to have) — but I most certainly drawn to have this beautifully decorated metal purse/clutch/accessory thing. It is decorated with polished stones: carnelian, yellow jasper, green/pink jasper, quartz, etc.

It was so not me. I think that V was shocked that I wanted it.

But, for some reason, I had to have it. It was crazy.

Maybe it was for Freyja…or something.

When I unpack it, I’m going to put it on Her altar.